


this love is tainted

by LilaacStars



Series: late night ideas [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged Up, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cat tendencies, F/M, Forbidden Love, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Love Curse, Miraculous Side Effects, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Some bed sharing, bug tendencies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2019-12-25 18:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18267056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilaacStars/pseuds/LilaacStars
Summary: It wasn't unrequited love.But only Marinette knew that, and against any own desire, she had to keep it that way.





	1. i need you and i hate it

**Author's Note:**

> just a little thing that i wrote on tumblr last night  
> here is the link, if you reblog it that helps out sm!
> 
> https://buginettez.tumblr.com/post/183765217118/this-love-is-tainted

Unconsciously stirring the spoon of her coffee and watching out of the window, Marinette starts to worry about what time it is and why he hasn’t come home yet.

The moon is high, the sky is black, the lights of the shops are going off. There are puddles on the streets, and whispers of drunk tourists, a shimmer of a young night dying like a shattered piece of glass.

It is winter, of most seasons the one she loved and hurt her the most. It is cold and the windows are scattering with fractals and shapes that on better nights had the power to inspire her creative mind.

 

She presses the warm cup against her lips, not sipping of it, only putting the heated ceramic against her frozen skin. A substitute of the soft flesh she dreams to have on top of hers again.

 _No._ She can’t think of that.

She has to brush it off, crumble it like a disastrous draft of designs and throw it like rubbish.

Marinette spins on her heels and walks back to the tiny kitchen.

The light on the roof is dimming and flickering, and the sound of the boiler keeps popping on the background.

She sits on a stool and fixes her sight on the watch of the wall. She can’t go to bed until he walks through that door.

How is he doing? Is he having a hard time? Is he enjoying himself? Was he too tired and fell asleep on top of his desk and is not coming back home tonight?

She could call, ask and all her questions and worry would disappear so easily, but after _that_ night, nothing has been the same.

Anxious and slowly drinking her coffee Marinette waits and obsesses over the thought of never seeing him again. The thought has been present for two weeks now.

After years of knowing each other, it is a non-fundamental belief that he could just leave her behind and drop everything they have shared just to move on with his life, however, their relationship is not working as the perfect machine they like to show-off it is. It _was_.

So, with fear as her ruler, she waits.

Ten minutes pass.

Half an hour pass.

One hour and twenty-seven minutes pass until the lock of the door clicks open. One hour and twenty-seven minutes where Marinette has not been able to breathe naturally.

Jumping out of the stool, coffee left forgotten, she runs to the living room.

Adrien steps up in the hall.

Glasses on, his bag hanging lose of his shoulder and an unlit cigarette between his lips.

He ruffles his hair, as he always does, leaves the bag on the hanger, and gets a lighter from his pocket before taking his jacket off and hanging it beside the bag and walks into the cozy apartment they share.

“Hi,” Marinette greets,  awkwardly waving at him.

“Hi,” Adrien says back without letting the cigarette fall of his mouth.

“How was your day?”  
“Fine.”

“Are you sure? You look tired.”  
“I’m _fine,_ Marinette.” Adrien softly growls.

He walks near her but doesn’t stop to casually brush his knuckles on her cheek, hold her in a hug or leave a trail of kisses all over her face. That Adrien has vanished.

Marinette follows him anyway, stepping outside and facing the winter breeze that hits her aggressively.

“You’ll get cold,” Adrien whispers.

The lighter flickers under his hand, the fire creates a small shadow over his face that only increased the hints of what he is really feeling, the pain underneath the perfect looking man. He lits his cigarette and gives it a smoke. “You’ll also end up smelling like tobacco, and you hate that.”

“I think the weather is pretty nice right now.” She lies.

He huffs in disbelief, “Marinette, it is winter, you don’t have good days or nice weather in winters. Ladybug’s side effects and all that jazz, remember? You can’t fool _me._ ”  
“I just want to know about your day. You’re quite late.”

“I was out,” Adrien says, “After work.”

“With… work friends?”

“Yup.”

“Did you have fun?”

“Quite.” Adrien takes another drag, and then a few short but quick ones. Obviously to not keep talking to her. “Why are you awake?”

_Because you’re late. Again._

Instead of answering, she just shrugs.

Adrien leans down on the balcony rail, the smoke of his cigarette mixed with his hot breathe hitting the cold air.

“So…” Adrien sighs, “I…. I did what you suggested.”

Marinette perks up and looks at him. _What did she suggest?_

She has said so many things, so many lies, through the course of the month that she has lost count.

“I asked one of my co-workers out,” Adrien finally explains, “I have a date, Marinette.”  
Her heart jumps to her throat, she feels like coughing and puking and just straight up melt into goo or maybe turn into ashes, anything that could take her away from existence.

But she can’t show it. She can’t let him see what she really feels.

And, after all, she _had_ suggested that.

Looking at a dead point and listening to her internal clock ticking, preparing her to put on a show, Marinette internally screams and becomes the fabricated version of herself she despises, but that it is necessary to keep the world spinning.

A soft smile, not too big, not too small. Wide-eyes open with joy, shining under the light like two glimmery stars. Relaxed posture but open arms to project all the happy feelings she does _not_ feel inside.

“Really?” She asks, her voice going up one octave too high for it to be categorized it as cute.

“Really,” Adrien answers flat.

“I’m so happy for you.” The words almost cut her tongue but she is able to let them out.

“Thank you,” He sighs, “You… you were right and I… I want to make this right, I don’t want us to break, that’s really the last thing I would ever want.”

“I don’t want us to break either,”

“I know,” He nods, he takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose, “I’m gonna move on, princess. I’m gonna get over you and we’ll be back to normal in no time. I promise you.”

“I believe you,” Marinette quivers from head to toe, her smile flinches but luckily he is looking at the building in front of them and doesn’t notice. “Thank you… for that…”

“I would give you anything you want.”

Oh, she knows.

How sad it was that he could never give her what she actually desires.

“I’ll go to bed now,” She whispers, already taking steps back. “See you in the morning?”  
He nods, still looking at a missing point in the distance.

“Good night,”

“Sweet dreams, my lady.”  
Marinette passes the curtains, smile still up. Once the white fabric hides her all, she runs and her true feelings bloom.

Closing the door behind her and putting the lock, Marinette jumps to her bed.

Pulling up the covers and taking the pillow out, she hides her face on it and screams as loud as she can, assuring he will not hear her.

If magic had a way to allow her to express how she really feels, she would have shouted thunders and lightings as the rain fell off her eyes.

Her whole body shakes in sorrow and broken love.

It isn’t fair.

She always thought that once she grew she would stop saying that phrase, that she would finally understand and duty would be just another responsibility on her to-do list.

It isn’t like that, it is worse and it is definitely not fair.

They had done so much for the city, for humanity, for everyone but them. They had given their lives and dreams to protect and keep happy every single soul but them.

And this is how they are repaid?

This is with what they had to live?

It isn’t fair, it would never be.

If it was fair then they could love each other without consequences. They could love each other and be happy in love until the end of times.

But it isn’t like that.

_Bad things happen when Ladybugs and Chat Noirs love each other._

The warning echoes in her mind like the alarm of a firemen car every single second of the day. It is a red whirling siren that makes her overthink all her words and moves, all her looks and sighs.

It is heavy and hurtful knowledge and she has to carry the weight of it on her shoulders all alone. It is a devastating and major prophecy she has to stop from happening all on her own.

Because Marinette will never let _him_ know.  

Even if that means breaking his heart and hers in the process.


	2. my brain can’t equate it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some time has gone through, things get worse.

 

The apartment was too small for this, but Adrien had insisted. 

Telling no to Adrien, especially when what he asked brought him joy was an impossible task. 

Marinette walks through the apartment with a platter on her hands, offering small canapés and delicatessens. 

It is not her party, it is not her celebration but it is  _ his _ , which makes her work even harder. 

Adrien loves birthdays, Adrien loves to be surrounded by people. 

He wanted this party so much, and now they are here. 

Marinette checks on him every chance she gets. He has desisted on his ongoing mission of helping her out, but she still doubts him. 

She is midway through the living room, pushing bodies and smiling her apologies when Alya takes the platter out of her hands. 

“Go enjoy yourself,” Alya says, “There’s enough food on the table, M, if people want it they’ll go to it.”

“But,” Alya presses a finger against her lips, keeping her quiet.

“ _ Fun _ ,” Alya says and pushes her to the corner of the room that’s far away from the kitchen. 

Marinette huffs, a piece of hair flies because of the air and she looks at herself in the mirror in front of her. 

She is proud of the outfit, it is a simple flowy blue dress, it fists in the right places without being too provocative. Is the perfect dress for a birthday at home, sexy yet elegant, and she loves it, it is a design of her own after all, but not hearing Adrien’s approval makes her feel odd. Putting all her happiness and pride on him is not something she does, she trusts her talent and loves herself enough to not do that, but is still nice to hear him say she looks pretty. She misses it because is so common, she misses it because it makes her feel that he is still hers somehow. 

Marinette walks through the crowd, trying to find her place in the party.

Kagami waves at her and invites her to join her conversation, they chat and laugh for a long time, and there’s something on the girl’s eyes that makes Marinette wander what does she see in her to have her so worried. 

Luka joins them only an hour later, he crosses one arm around each girl and starts to sing along to the music. They both roll her eyes but let the bubbly guy make them laugh for a while, they’ve not seen him in so long that is nice to catch up. 

As fun as it is to be with them, as engaged she is in the conversation when she hears Adrien, it is impossible to stay. 

His laugh has caught her attention and Marinette walks near to the window, to find him and finally have her time with him.  

When she doesn’t find him in the circle beside the wall, she realizes he is outside and she moves the curtains to check. 

Adrien is indeed outside, a group of people is holding glasses of wine and cans of beer as they laugh with him. 

He is telling a story, very excited and half giggling. His arm is around his girlfriend. And he just  _ glows _ . 

When Adrien finishes his story, he pulls up a cigarette and puts it on his lips. 

_ Lucy,  _ at his side, pulls it out. 

He smiles for a second and then his expression changes into a frown that is nothing but fake. 

Adrien  _ adores _ Lucy, he never gets mad at Lucy. Not like he does when Marinette does the same to him. 

Lucy gets looks full of hearts and sparkles when she tries to stop him from his bad habit, Marinette gets angry speeches and warnings to leave him alone. It hurts, but she is used to it. Adrien and Lucy have been together for one year and a few months now, enough time to face her new reality. 

Lucy was the second girl Adrien asked out because of Marinette’s suggestion. 

Now they are inseparable. 

Marinette can’t digest it. 

There’s nothing wrong with Lucy, nothing at all. Marinette likes her, she is, well, she is  _ Lucy _ . 

Lucy is what Adrien deserves. 

Lucy is gorgeous, blonde and blue eyes. Lucy is smart, the youngest engineer in Paris to get to her job position. Lucy is funny and clever when it comes to puns, Adrien could have fallen for that alone, but that is not what makes Lucy good.  

She smiles like  _ him  _ and  _ with  _ him. Tender and joyful, on the corner it quivers, the sadness never completely leaves. When she laughs her whole body lights up and she looks at Adrien and Adrien looks at her, he matches her smile, leans down and kisses her cheek, the smile doesn’t leave its place. 

Lucy makes Adrien happy. Lucy makes Adrien bright. 

And she can’t help but watch. Watching them consumes her, crumbles her down but it is second nature for her. 

Marinette convinces herself that she still knows him best but it is in moments like the one that she is looking that she starts to doubt. 

Someone in the balcony has made a comment and all around laugh, everyone but Adrien who puts a polite smile and keeps quiet. However, his fist clench and a muscle on his jaw pop. 

In another life, Marinette would be the one to calm him down, but in this life, it is Lucy. 

She takes his hand squeezes, cups his cheek and whispers his name in charming tones. It is a promise, it is an assuring speech, it is everything Adrien needs. 

What was a doubt is now a confirmed statement, Lucy, the girl who has been on his life for only two years knows all, maybe even more, than his loyal partner does. 

Adrien has completely given her his heart. 

_ It’s not mine, it’s not mine, it’s not mine. _

It shouldn’t be, she shouldn’t want it but it  _ hurts, hurts, hurts _ .  

Marinette crosses the curtain and walks back, not looking where she goes, her sight is still fixed on the same point, burning through the white fabric, trying to get back to the man her heart loves. 

She ends up clashing against Luka, who has been looking for her. He shows her his watch, it’s time to bring the cake out and sing to the birthday boy. 

Marinette thanks him for the reminder and runs to the kitchen, where the cake she worked so hard on stands. 

Kagami appears again and helps her light up the candles and organize the groups so they know is time to bring Adrien inside of the apartment. 

Only a seconds pass and he is back inside, and the moment starts. 

The room goes quiet, the lights go down and Marinette walks with the light up cake to Adrien, who is still standing right next to Lucy.

His expression changes when he sees her. A smile full of adoration and gratitude is seating on his lips as she sings to him. 

Everyone else is singing and watching, but for Marinette, it feels like there’s only them. Adrien’s eyes are connected with hers, the fire reflects on his green and she is sure it also changes the color of her blue, and between the dances of the flames, there’s a secret communication that she no longer knows how to decode. 

Adrien’s eye language had been easy to recognize and understand before, but after those two years they had grown apart and their relationship, as tight and truthful as it was had lost the strength of its bond. 

It is what explains why Marinette think he is saying “I love you” when he would never say that, not when his heart belongs to Lucy now. 

When the song ends and he blows the candles, all those secret talks and scorching sights disappear. They are back to the social event, it’s not the two of them alone anymore. 

Marinette pretty much runs back to the kitchen, with the excuse of cutting the cake, but really she doesn’t want to see the enthusiastic kisses Lucy gives to her kitty. 

Losing herself on the sweet dessert, she talks to everyone as she offers cake, as she tries not to watch the two blondes in their pink bubble of love. But it’s impossible when Adrien clinks a glass and makes everyone look. 

It is hard to understand what he is saying with all the people whispering so, pushing aside a few people she enters the circle, to get a little closer and listen. 

“-- and I didn’t even tell Nette,” He says and laughs. “So,” Adrien cleans his hands against his pants, something he did when he was nervous. 

Marinette crooks a brow. 

_ What didn’t he tell me? _

Then he goes in one knee, takes a box of his pocket and there’s no need to explain what it was. She is presenting it and the revelation hurts. 

Slow motion becomes a feeling more than a tactic shown in movies. Marinette feels it crawling up her spine, and the whole room goes blank. 

She is only able to see him, how he beams, how he moves his lips as he smiles, how he looks at her as he professes his love. 

The room is full of static, no comprehensible noise. She can’t hear his words and it’s thankful that her body has shut down because if she could then there’s no way she’ll be able to keep it together.

Someone elbows her accidentally and she is brought back to the awaited ending. 

Marinette knows her answer, it is unsaid but loud. 

Lucy is crying and nodding, Adrien is standing up before she says it. 

She finally says it.  _ “Yes _ !” 

And it rings like a bullet. 

Maybe because one pierced through her heart. 

Lucy jumps, Adrien catches her and she kisses him. 

The cheers can be heard across the street, the applause bounce around their house. 

Marinette is the only one who doesn’t clap. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't think this thing will be longer than 10 chapters. it could even be less but who knows!
> 
> find me on tumblr: buginettez.


	3. you’re caught between a dream and a movie scene.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wedding bells

Marinette looks at the roof over her head as she lies down on the cold wooden floor of her apartment.

It’s the middle of autumn and the wedding is only four days away. She doesn’t know how the year went by so fast, she doesn’t know how she has been able to keep herself afloat. Ironically, the explanation could be that she has drowned herself in work.

The year has been one of the heaviest she has ever experienced. Her business has thrived, but her heart has crumbled down.

Weddings were continuous stress and the kind that you couldn’t brush off. It was worse when she was in charge of one of the most important things on the whole celebration: the bride’s dress.

As the orange rays of the afternoon sun skip the glass barrier of her window and leak through the whole room, the white dress glimmers like a rough diamond.

Marinette’s most beautiful creation to date and it was the embodiment of her pain.

The thick fabric fell to the floor like it weighted the same as a feather, and when Lucy had tried it on a few days ago, every time she swirled it moved with the wind. It was perfectly made, a true masterpiece and Marinette can’t enjoy it.

She was trying her best to look at the piece with objective designer eyes, but every embroidery of lace and beads was a secret code that made her remember that she wasn’t the one who would wear that dress.

Lying on the floor, the sun hitting her eyes but what makes her feel blind and numb is not the bright light of the star but the shining dress, the dress she is supposed to finish up and send to the hotel where Lucy is staying.

Instead of taking her needle and adding the last touches, her mind roams to a dark place.

Is it too late was it to take it all back? To tell him the truth and beg for his love?

The answer was a quick ‘yes’.

Her stomach twists in knots and a nauseous feeling goes up to her throat. Her hands travel to her ears and she pinches her left lobe, missing the magic jewelry she used to wear all the time.

What bad things could have happened if they got together?

She wonders it daily. Because what she feels can be labeled as the most horrible emotion she has ever had roaming on her heart and it is hard to imagine that something worse can exist.

Marinette rolls over the carpet and sighs. It is useless to keep thinking that she can find a loophole on Tikki’s prophecy.

She needs to keep working.

The dress needs to be ready because her excuses are not valid anymore.

It is not easy to make a wedding dress, everyone understands that, but everyone is also waiting for Marinette to deliver her very best, just like she always does. No one knows what is going on behind the curtains, no one knows how hard is for her to be professional when she is sewing the dress Lucy will wear to marry Adrien, the love of her life.

With one last sorrowful sigh, she stands up, takes her toolbox and walks to the dress, pulling to the center of the room to get the best natural light the exterior can give. It is a nice autumn afternoon, she needs to take advantage of it.

As she moves, she hits the coffee table at the side of the living room and her bottle of water stumbles, dropping water over a few sketches. Marinette softly growls but doesn’t maintain her focus on it, if she gets distracted she will never finish the dress.

Kneeling down at the end of the dress, Marinette pulls a jar with the pearl beads she is using for the details on the hem and starts her work.

One good thing about her working method is that she gets so involved on her pieces that at a certain point she completely forgets what she is doing, she completely forgets what the dress means.

The rush of doing what she loves keeps her from ending it all, but it also acts as a double-edged blade. Marinette is so focused on getting the details right that everything else around her disappears, everything but the dress vanishes of her list of priorities, even herself. As unhealthy as that is, it’s not a big deal when you do it once or twice, but for Marinette, this has been a routine for the last four months.

Her fatigue is so strong that she barely notices when her sight starts to get blurry or when her arms give up.

When the clock chimes its bell, announcing that it is five am, after twelve intense hours of hard and thorough work, Marinette falls deeply asleep.

The needle drops of her hands and the white thread runs around her until it loses all energy and end ups on the floor cold and alone. Just like her.

**xx**

Marinette doesn’t wake up easily, it takes minutes before her body realizes she is not on the floor, freezing, and hurting, but in warm and strong arms carrying her through the apartment.

It’s the familiar scent what makes her eyes pop open and search for the source of tenderness that embraces her.

“ _Minou?_ ” The nickname slips off her mouth before she can double check. It’s been around ten months since she last called him that, after realizing Lucy’s uncomfortable stares.

“Good morning, _princess,_ ” Adrien says, voice hoarse, which is strange because he doesn’t look sleepy.

“What are you doing here?”

“Taking you to bed,” He says snarkily.

“You know what I mean,” Marinette answers, avoiding his sight. He is too close and her heart can’t take this now.

“Lately you always ask me this,” He sighs, “Why do I have to have a reason?”

_Because it makes it easier._

There’s no time to lie when Adrien has already opened the door of her room and frowns at what he sees.

Marinette feels all the color drop out of her face.

“Why is your bed undone?” Adrien asks, still holding her, but loosening his grip.

The color comes back to her face, like a blossoming red rose.

It is not that her bed has sheets and pillows all over the place, the bed's completely bare, with a thousand of hangers and a few fabrics on top of it. There’s literally no good enough excuse to come up with, so she just tells the truth.

“I… I’ve been sleeping in your room.”

Adrien had left behind his bed, a drawer, and his desk, planning to get them back at some point, but the moment had never come, and since it still had Adrien’s essence all over, it was like having him there, so Marinette had moved to his room.

Marinette feels Adrien shake and a giggle comes out of his mouth.

He ducks his head and nuzzles his nose against her. “I miss you too. _Like crazy_ .”  
His voice breaks a little at the end and something that Marinette can’t quite understand shines on his eyes.

Stopping her self preservation, Marinette wraps her arms around him and hides her face on the crook of his neck, kissing the base oh-so-softly.

“I’m not used to being away from you,” She admits, leaving behind all the thousand other verses she wishes she could recite to him.

“Me neither, I wonder if it will ever end,” Adrien sighs and starts his way to his room. “How has the cold been treating you?”

“Fine, it hasn’t been that cold, Adrien.”

“Mm..” That’s his only answer before he puts her on top of his bed and brushes her bangs out of her face.

Pushing the pillows out of the bed and opening the bed to help Marinette get in, he kneels down and pulls the basket under the bed to take more blankets.

Adrien wraps the covers all around her, using the extra blankets to practically restraining her, only leaving her face visible and leaves a kiss on her nose.

Marinette shivers at the contact. This is the first time he does that in years.

“Cold?”

“Is it even possible?”

“I hope not,” He giggles. “I also hope to not see you sleeping on the floor again,”

“It was unintentional. I was working,”

“I realized…” Adrien jumps in the bed to move closer to the wall, then rolls to lie next to her.

Marinette’s heart does a somersault.

Their eyes meet in a soft embrace and a smile tilts on each of their lips.

“You’ve been very busy, you barely pick up my calls,”

“I… I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay, I want you to thrive,” Adrien rolls again, lying on his back. His hand reaches for her warmness, keeping it over the blankets that wrap her hand. “I know you are doing well and I’m happy about it but… I want you to keep doing it under your rules, doing it because you love it.”

Marinette tilts her head and looks at him confused.

“What do you mean?”

Adrien’s Adam’s apple bobs, and he swallows hard before clicking his tongue.

This is not good.

“The dress…” Adrien simply says.

It takes a few seconds to process what he actually means but when she gets it, she jerks back and chokes on air.

“You saw it?” Marinette whines “ _No, no, no, no,_ ”

She starts pushing away the blankets and breathes heavily.

“This is a disaster,” She mumbles and tries to run away to the living room.

Adrien catches her before she can stumble on the blankets and fall to the floor, pulling her back to the bed and into him. Marinette hits against his chest, and he holds her by her waist, his head on her shoulder as she seats on top of him.

“It’s not a big deal, Nette.”

“You’re not supposed to see it before the wedding,”

“Stupid traditions,”

“Maybe not for Lucy,”

“I’m sure Luce won’t mind. Just don’t mention it.”

“But--”

“No,” Adrien says on her ear and she gulps.

She can tell he realized her stiffness because he lets go and leans on the wall, letting her free of his touch so she can walk away. She doesn’t want to but feels that if she doesn't she’ll give away her real feelings, so she crawls on the bed to sit beside him, yet leaving a good amount of space between them to label it as platonic.

Adrien plays with the ends of the blanket and sighs.

Marinette bends her legs and hugs them close to her body, unsure of how to proceed she’ll wait until Adrien decided to bring back the subject or completely change it.

Silences had never been that long between them but after Adrien started dating Lucy it seems like the shared more uncomfortable moments like this one than actual conversations.

“The dress,” He starts again, “It’s... _beautiful_.”

Marinette catches the but of his phrase. A scorching pain runs underneath her skin.

“But?” She asks.

He doesn’t miss a beat.

“It’s _yours_.”

Marinette crooks a brow.

When Lucy asked her to do the dress he never showed any sign of being in disagreement.

“I don’t understand,” She states, “Of course it is mine, I designed it and--  
“ _No._ ” Adrien cuts. “I know that design, Marinette. It is a design you made for _yourself_.”

Marinette gasps loudly.

He remembers the design, he remembers that little design she pulled away from him so quickly after he found it on his sketchbooks one of the many nights he stayed with her on her old room.

Adrien remembered the dress she designed for herself _if she married him_.

Marinette looks at him.

Adrien is frowning and his chest goes up and down irregularly. He is angry.

“She…. she liked it,” Marinette whispers, unable to say something to appease him, so maybe explaining the situation will do.

“You didn’t object? Lucy just saw it and you said yes?”

Well, she tried, but seeing Lucy so happy and knowing that all that happiness would make Adrien joyful too… she couldn’t refuse.

That attitude is the only one she can have towards Lucy, if she is not nice and remembers Adrien, she fears she’ll say or do something mean to her than later, she will regret.

“Is just a design,”

Adrien huffs and looks at her with an _are-you-kidding-me?_ look

Because it isn’t just design and they both know that.

“She fell in love with it, and I want you to have a perfect wedding,” Marinette admits, “I can make another one for me when the time comes…”

A shadow crosses Adrien’s eyes and a muscle pops on his jaw.

Marinette’s hands shake and she bites her lip when Adrien stays silent again.

“I can do changes if you don’t like it. I’ll call Lucy and I’ll explain the situation, I don’t think I can do a dress from zero in three days but I could-  
“Princess, stop,” Adrien grabs her hands and pulls them down. She hadn’t even noticed that she was using them to gesticulate so much. “I love the dress, is gorgeous.”

“Really?”

“It is outstanding, Marinette,” Adrien gasps, “It’s just… I will…

“You will?”

Adrien stares at her, long suffocating seconds, and then he just hugs her. So tight she thinks they might become one.

“I love you. Endlessly.” Adrien says, lips brushing on the curve of her neck, “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”  

“I love you too.” She answers and closes her eyes to engrave this moment in her memory.

“Do you have to keep working?” So, a total change of subject it was.

Marinette nods and feels the tension disappear a little.  
“I should. I need to stitch the final details on Lucy’s dress and I have a few commissions.”

“Okay, you do that as I cook you lunch,”

“What? No, you’re busy! I know your schedule, you’re supposed to be doing wedding stuff right now. That’s why I was so surprised that you were here.”  
“Well, I’ve decided that feeding you is more important than that right now. For real, my lady, you keep losing weight and I’m getting scared. It’s not normal that you’re so skinny.”  
“I’ve always been skinny.”  
“Not like this. Not _unhealthy_ skinny.” Adrien’s anger is palpable in the air. “I’m staying, cooking for you, and I won’t leave until I see you swallow the last bit of food. Understood?”

“Understood.”

**xx**

Marinette tenderly touches the petals of the white roses on the vase in front of her. She pulls the crooked petal and takes it between her fingers, tilting them to look at the bent edges. All her concentration is on that little detail because if she focuses on anything else, tears will drop off her eyes like a broken faucet.

She takes the petal closer and brushes it against her lips, the image of what she desired to do three days ago when Adrien fell asleep beside her and his lips had looked so desirable came back and all her plan drowned down on her own feelings.

Marinette throws away the petal and looks up to the light so she won’t start crying.

The memory is too fresh to ignore.

Adrien lying next to her, so calm and unaware of her feelings. His arms around her and pulling her close, his forehead pressing against her temple and his heartbeat matching hers for the few seconds she was calm and her mind hadn’t gone crazy with fantasies of him and her having the happily ever after they could have had if Tikki’s warnings hadn’t existed.

Those thoughts, that situation, were the reason why she was avoiding him and putting a barrier between them. She was extra careful even if that meant breaking their relationship.

Marinette stands up from the chair she is waiting at and walks in circles around the tiny room. She is not supposed to be here, but out with everyone as they wait for Lucy’s driver to call and say they’re on their way, but Marinette can’t stand outside and share laughs and a small chat with the attendants without ruining their good time.

The box where she has her feelings hidden is cracking, and this day is the biggest threat to them.

Marinette twirls in front of the mirror and watches her perfect periwinkle dress move with her. The sweetheart cleavage is classy and beautiful, and the circle skirt has a few curly pieces of fabric that make it look a bit more elevated, but wearing this instead of a white dress in the day of Adrien’s wedding feels wrong.

It should be her.

The creeping and toxic feeling extends all over her body and it tickles on her stomach. She feels like puking every time she thinks about it. Luckily when she did Lucy’s fit she was able to hide it but now, here alone, she can see it all over her face.

Maybe staying behind in a closed room is not the best way to deal with it.

She takes her purse from the chair and takes off the lock of the door, taking one big breath before leaving.

She has kept it under seven locks, she has kept it from everyone she knows, she can keep her cool and pretend for a little longer.

Marinette walks through the hallways of the church and gets to a part full of windows. At the end of the hallway, all the guests are talking and walking to their respective seats, but from the corner of her vision, she sees someone outside on the gardens.

She first recognizes Nino and then she sees him.

Marinette gets close to one of the pillars, to stay hidden and watches from afar.

Adrien fixes his tie, he opens and closes his hands as he does when he is nervous and walks in circles all around the square of grass he is at.

Nino by his side is talking and Adrien laughs between the anxiety. His smile is plastered on his lips, and she can tell he is giggling against his will for the way he tries to maintain a serious expression but fails immediately.

Adrien jumps on his place, bouncing like a child on Christmas, and Nino hugs him, twirling him around.

She can’t hear them but their laugh must be loud and full of joy.

Adrien is so happy. She has never seen him like this, he has never been this happy with her.

This is all because he is marrying Lucy.

Shattered pieces become dust when her heart cracks one more time.

At that moment the red curtain goes down, the play is over, the actress goes back to who she is.

“I can’t” Marinette gasps.

There’s no one to hear her but it is when the words come up of her mouth when she fully grasps the feeling that has been haunting her. The parasite eating her from the inside out has finally been recognized and to ignore it is impossible.

“I can’t,” She repeats, this time the meaning is different.

The battle starts, her heart and her mind swing their swords and they clash.

Marinette can’t stay, if she does she’ll break down, if she breaks down she’ll do something stupid and Adrien’s wedding will be ruined.

However, Marinette can’t leave. Marinette is supposed to stand beside Adrien as one of the witnesses, she is supposed to give a speech at the dinner after the ceremony. Marinette is crucial for the evening to go as planned.

But, without her, the wedding can still happen. If Marinette disappears, things get rocky but not everything is lost without her here. On the contrary, if she stays she could put everything at risk, Adrien’s wedding, Lucy’s love for him, and most importantly, their friendship.

If she leaves, Adrien will be mad but he will learn to forgive her. If she stands by him and cries, if she stops the wedding to tell him she loves him, he will lose him forever.

“ _I can’t,_ ” The words again and this time they echo through her whole body.

She really _can’t_ stay.

Marinette feels small and everything around her starts to move way too fast for her to perceive it right

Her heartbeat rings in her ears like the buzz of a bee and she forgets how to breathe, her whole body shuts down and at the same time, it starts to act on autopilot.

Marinette runs back to where she was, skipping the room and going to the end of the hallway where the other door is.

As she runs, she jumps in one foot as she takes off her shoes. The purse falls but she doesn’t mind, there’s nothing she actually needs there.

With heels in hand, pulling the skirt up so she can have better movement, Marinette runs away.

When she makes it outside she outwits and doges all the journalists that are waiting to get the first picture of the newlywed couple.

Marinette runs and runs, ignoring the scratches and piercing pain on the sole of her feet, pretending the wind and small drops of rain don’t hit her face as a slap would.

Marinette runs, runs, runs, runs.

Hoping to leave not only the location of her pain behind but also all the emotions and affection far away from her.

She is on crisis mode, surviving and moving to what is best at the second that is passing, no plan or upcoming situation to care about. A rarity for her, but that’s how deep she is into despair.

When her feet start to bleed and she leaves stamps of red behind her, she slows down and enters to the first metro station she finds.

Without her purse, she doesn’t have her MetroCard but the guard at the station opens a door for her. He doesn't ask, he just does it and follows her until the doors of the wagon she enters to close down behind her.

Inside of the train, her common sense comes back, the numbness goes off and her body is human again.

Her legs give up and Marinette falls to the floor, a thunder that echoes across the whole wagon.  

Tears pool down on her eyes and fall, fall, fall.

Ashamed of how she must look, she covers her face with her hands and keeps crying.

The soft purple of her dress pops up in the metro train filled with black and the earth tones of autumn, and the drama she is starring only enhances it.

Flickering flashes snap around her.

She doesn’t have the strength to fight back at them.

And deep down, as the echo of the chiming bells in the church engraves their name on her heart, pouring liquid pain on the wounds of her heart, she understands that she is a romantic tragedy in the flesh.


	4. tell me your lies

Marinette takes one of the pins holding her bun out of her hair and opens the mailbox with it, just like she has done many times before. She is always misplacing her keys and leaves a spare on the mailbox, or hopefully, she’s done it this time, because as forgetful as she can be, maybe she forgot to replace them.

Luckily, they are there. Marinette isn’t sure she would be ready to greet another disappointment. It is also late at night, maybe even early morning, the stars are fading and it wouldn’t be surprising if the first rays of the sun would leak through the tall windows of her building.

Marinette walks on her tippy toes. Her feet are wrapped in bandages, courtesy of a lady owner of a restaurant she passed by as she returned home under the moonlight. One look at the glass of any store or restaurant had let her know why people were being so nice to her. Her dress was torn, mascara tears and black spots decorated her face, her eyes were as red as the scorching fire that was burning her heart and desires.

Marinette is a mess out on display.

One of the residents passes by her, going upstairs and stops just to take one good look at her. Marinette makes a motion with her hand and puts on the best smile she can. Too many people have worried about her on the course of a day, too many people have created a sob story around the way she looked, it was best to pretend and avoid anything else that could occur.

The piercing pain on her feet grows louder when she goes up the stairs. Five floors and no elevator had always been a nuisance. Adrien and she had been warned, had been told to think it better, that they would regret it later. However, they weren’t convinced. Both needed the view of the city, an apartment with a location that allowed them to scatter the city with their eyes just like they did when they were saving lives.

She has never hated those stairs more than she does now, not even when she came home alone with her groceries the first night Adrien was gone.

Yet, it doesn’t matter how much her feet hurt, because nothing can compare to her aching heart. It will only get worse once she opens the door of her apartment and she has to go to _his_ room, to _his_ bed. She will have to go to what has been her safe haven only to break down.

While he enjoys his first night as a married man.

_Married._

_Adrien was married._

She thought she would marry him and now he was married to someone else.

Now she knows for certain, she will never marry.

There is no one but him. No room for discussion.

Marinette grips the railing harshly and pulls herself to the last bunch of stairs, getting to the hallway of her apartment safely.

There, she lets herself fall, her feet can’t take it any longer, she can crawl to her door.

Sleepy, hurt and drunk on what could only be sorrow, she doesn’t notice the body on her door until she is too close to make an escapade.  

When she does see him, she almost screams. Whatever stops her, it is her savior, she owns it big.

Because there he is. Her loyal _chevalier._

Marinette rubs her eyes and blinks fast, repeating the motion numerous times, thinking that at some point he will disappear. He does not.

He is there. Adrien is seating with his back against the door and sleeping. Still wearing his tuxedo, but it looks dirty and messy. He has his hand wrapped around a bag, no,   _her_ bag, it as it was made of the finest piece of jewelry.

How is she going to avoid him?

What is he doing here?

Marinette pushes her body a few meters back, hoping she can make it down to the third floor in one piece and beg Theresa if she can crash on her couch for the night. Marinette had helped her before, she could ask for a favor without shame.

As she is dragging her body back, the keys fall out of her hand and make a loud sound against one of the metal covers of the electric system.

Marinette flinches and her heartbeat speeds up. She knows that noise has become her doom.

Those cat reflexed that saved them so many times had turned into an enemy too. A double-sided blade as she called it, and just like her ladybug side effects, like how the cold affected her, those _damn_ cat reflexes were his to the day he died.

She watches all around her go in slow motion, and if there was a zoom pointing at his eyes she watches how he dramatically opens them.

His eyes are more red than green in those moments. It’s unnerving.

She can tell the moment he registers that she is in front of him, that she is not a product of his imagination. It is on the way his eyes widen, on the way his lips curl, and in the almost inhuman move, he does to jump out o the floor and run to where she is sitting.

Adrien mutters something, she can see his lips moving but she can make anything of the sound. His voice is so hoarse and he talks so fast that with all that she has on her mind she can’t make an effort to understand.

He cups her cheeks and presses his forehead against hers.

Adrien lets out a long sigh and closes his eyes. Laugh full of despair rolls of his lips.

Marinette cries again, like a broken faucet. It surprises her, she didn’t think it could be humanly possible to keep crying.

Adrien’s hands move on her face, he tries to make her look up but she keeps putting her head down. Adrien gets more drastic by taking her by her waist and pulling her body to him and shakes her a little.

She can hear him talking again. His pitch is higher which only means he is more desperate.

“What?” She manages to say between heartbreaking sobs.

Marinette fights against any other emotion or thought and puts her full attention on him.

“Are you hurt?”

Marinette’s mouth trembles. How is she supposed to answer?

Adrien starts to run his hands all over her again. He checks her face, her arms and looks at her legs until he sees her feet.

He gasps so loud, she is sure it echoed down the whole building.

His hands return to her face and cups her cheeks as he cleans her tears.

Tears of his own start to fall too.  

“You’re bleeding,” Adrien’s voice is pure pain and it turns into a lethal weapon. Making him hurt makes her feel like a knife has been stabbed through her chest.

It takes a few seconds but Marinette finds the strength to talk.

“No, I mean yes, I… it doesn’t matter, Adrien,” She quivers, “What are you doing here? _Are you mental?_ ”   
“Am _I_ mental?” Adrien lets out a broken laugh,  “Marinette you left. I had no idea where you were….”

“You shouldn’t be here. The wedding,”

Adrien’s disbelief is displayed on his eyes. “Was I supposed to stay there and keep the ceremony going?” There’s a bit of sarcasm and a little bit of actual wonder on his tone.

“Yes! Of course, you should have!” Marinette moves her hands frenetically, pushing him away “Nothing happened to me, nothing important to make you leave your own wedding! You were not supposed to leave your wedding, Adrien!”

“You weren’t there!”

“That doesn’t matter!”  
“Of course it matters!” Adrien says frustrated, “ _You_ weren’t there!”

“I know!” She sobs, “I ruined your wedding, that’s the last thing I wanted to. I wanted you and Lucy to be… oh god! Where’s Lucy? Is  she mad at you?”

“It doesn’t ma--

“It matters!”

“She’s back at the hotel. Yes, she is mad, but she understands. She knows what you mean to me.” He answers all of her questions and gives a little more.

Marinette sighs, little relief leaks through.

Of course, she understands. She is good like that.

It only makes it worse.

“You must go back, maybe you can fix things and find a way to make the wedding or you co--”

“Stop, stop, stop,” Adrien grips her wrists, “Don’t worry about the stupid wedding. Is a ceremony, is dumb. I need to know what is happening to you.”

“Nothing!”  
“This is _not_ nothing! You disappeared, no one could reach you! You’re bleeding and you look like you’ve been….. like…. I’m thinking the worst,” Adrien hiccups, tears stream down his cheek like waterfalls. “Tell me nothing of what I’m fearing happened, and if it did, tell me so I can fix it, so I can hold you and make it better.”

“Nothing happened, Adrien,”  
“Something _did_ happen! Stop lying to me,” He begged, “You didn’t walk away from the wedding because you felt like it. You weren’t gone for hours just because you wanted to take a stroll! You-

“I was going to ruin it! I was going to ruin your perfect day!” Marinette almost chokes on the words, the feelings are too vivid, “You always dreamed of having a perfect wedding and if I stayed I was going to ruin it… seems like I was wrong like I ruined it anyways.”

“In which part of your logic could I ever have a perfect wedding without you?

“I’m not essential!

“There’s no perfect wedding if you’re not involved! And how could you think that you were going to ruin my day? You could never ruin anything for me.” Adrien leans closer, his forehead press against her and runs one finger across her cheek,  “Why did you really leave, Marinette? Tell me the truth,”

_I left because I’m in love with you. I’ve always been in love with you._

_I left because I couldn’t stand to see you marrying another woman._

_I left because I want you all to myself and that cannot be. I left because I had my chance and I threw it away._

_I love you, I love you, I love you._

Marinette imagines herself saying it for the first time, but in her mind, she knows that reality is against her wishes. It will not be sweet relief, it will only add more weight over her. Her already shattered heart will pulverize with one last hit.

“Please, princess, I beg you,” Adrien shakes, his eyes gleam and oh do they beg. They beg for mercy.

“I was jealous,” She whispers.

It is not a lie and that’s what makes her talk. At this moment she could not lie to him so bluntly. This is not a complete blasphemy she created to keep them safe, to keep the world as it is.

“I was scared and jealous and I just couldn’t see you getting married because it would be the last nail on the casket. I don’t want to lose my best friend and you already left me alone in the apartment and I… I was afraid that our relationship would not be the same anymore.”

Adrien smiles and shakes his head, he cleans her tears one more time but all out of a sudden he stops. His sight gets lost far away from her and he struggles to form his words.

Something clicks inside his brain, she can tell by the release of tension on his shoulders.

“You left my wedding because you were jealous? Because you thought we weren’t going to be _friends_ anymore?” He spats. There’s hate all over it.

“Adrien…”

He pushes her away, she is not sure he realizes how strongly because he would never do that. However, he is pure emotion now.

“Jealous? Because of our _friendship_?” Adrien laughs hysterically, “You’re the one who’s been avoiding me! You’re the one who pushes me away all the damn time!”

“Adrien,”

“I thought… I thought! What a fool!” Another laugh, he is gone completely manic. “Jealous!”

“Kitty…”

Adrien stops, he turns back to her and looks her from above. He shakes his head and bites his lip.

“I can’t do this, Marinette,” Adrien whispers. He is not completely calm or sane, and there’s something dark inside him.

He leaves before she can stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the angst doesn't end there jajja  
> what a sad fic dudes.  
> hope you enjoyed!
> 
> tumblr: buginettez


	5. stories that sound absurd

 

Everyone is  _ oh-so-worried _ . As annoying as it can be to get asked twenty times a day if you’re doing okay, it is not as annoying as getting asked about Adrien. 

Hadn’t people take the hint? They weren’t speaking and that was the end of the situation, that was what should stop the question. Apparently, it did not, since it only made people try to dig more about it. 

Marinette had figure out that the best way to avoid unsolicited questions was to avoid every single person who could ask them. The best excuse to succeed in such activity was to have a lot of things to work so it would be impossible to say yes to anyone who asked. 

That’s how Marinette finds herself sleeping on a mountain of fabric and commissions. Now, this wasn’t what she initially planned, but after five weeks of hard work with non-stop commissions, she is losing her mind and her strength.

This is the third time in the day that she has fallen asleep without realizing it.

She rubs her eyes and gives soft hits to her cheeks, to wake up and be able to do her work. Rolling on the floor, she comes back to the rug and takes the jacket she was working on before she fell asleep. It is almost ready but there’s still a lot of work to do.

Marinette looks up at the clock on the wall and sighs exhausted. 

So late again. She needs to mail this jacket this evening, if she does not she’ll win a bad review, and she can’t afford that. Business is thriving but as any self-employed designer, she is always on the edge, she can’t afford a bad review. Not yet. 

Because of that, Marinette works against the clock, and that’s the only thing she does. No water, no food, no bathroom break, or breaks of any kind to be specific. Nothing but work until she finishes the jacket. 

Luckily, the jacket is not a unique design, it is a pre-design she offers on her website store and the only thing she had to change was the color. Her hands remember perfectly how to do it, and she goes faster than any other pieces she has done on the past week but is still a hassle. The embroidery takes time and she wants it to be perfect. 

However, she goes slower than usual. Her body has made acquaintance with this kind of work routine, and what used to help to forget, now is a mechanical action that allows her brain to think in multiple stuff at a time, not only the piece she is working in. This means that Adrien has made a come back in her thoughts. 

He returns vividly yet soft. He returns with the nostalgia of a broken heart, with the longing and the pain, with the hope and the harsh hit of reality. 

Adrien hasn’t called and that’s all she needs to know that his anger has exceeded a new level. Adrien hasn’t tried to contact her at all, he hasn’t asked for her either (she has asked Kagami and Nino, and they both pulled such sorrowful expressions that she changed the subject immediately). Adrien’s silence is louder than any word could be. 

Things would be easier if she had someone to talk to, someone who could understand. No one does. 

She makes a mental note that in a week she’ll be able to visit Tikki. Her annual visit, and the only visit she is allowed to have, and it is only because she begged and cried at the guardian’s door for hours and hours until her voice broke. Until Adrien couldn’t hold her anymore and they both fell to the floor. 

Every year on the same date, she would go downtown and take with her a box full of cookies to take tea for an hour with her dear kwami. 

Only a week from today she would finally have someone to talk to, to be totally honest with. A friend at last. 

It is after that thought that she manages to advance on her work. Her needle breaks through the thick fabric and the string draws its pattern following her moves. 

The sun goes down behind the buildings beside hers, and the moon makes an appearance, leaking through her curtains. It is not that late in the evening but winter it’s on its peak so the sun hides rather early. 

However, Marinette forgets to pay more attention at the clock and times flies quickly than she realizes, so when he looks at the clock again her heart stops. 

“Oh, no!” Marinette gasps. 

She looks down at the jacket on her hands. It is done but she still has to put it on the package and send it, and she only has half an hour to do that, and run down to the post office.

She looks at the clock again and stands up from the floor. She can do this, she was a superheroine, this is kids’ play compared to all the villains she had to face. 

Marinette might be broken and sad and a little bit weaker than she once was, but she is still the same girl inside, she can do this!

Set on her mission, Marinette starts packing the jacket at light speed but that doesn’t stop her from being meticulous and keep her work of being of the highest quality. 

Five minutes later she is running downstairs and skipping puddles on the street, with her backpack hanging off her arm, and a pink cardboard box between her hands. 

Her feet still hurt a little, but it is nothing that she can’t handle. Although, there’s something that it is proving to be worst than her itching scars. 

Marinette runs through the cold streets of Paris only a sleek cardigan to fight the cold, and as crazy as it is for any normal person to go out like this in such a cold day, it is insane for her. 

The earrings are long gone but the effects of magic will last forever. 

She keeps running, not only to get there on time but also to keep herself warm. 

Running is not enough, she can feel her skin getting tense, and she is not sure if she is imagining it or not but she can feel scattered ice on her fingers, just like ladybug’s wings would. 

Six blocks down and she sees the post office, to her luck, still open. 

They already know her, she is basically here every day sending a package, so when they see her they all get worried. It seems like she is too pale and if she heard right her lips are blue. 

Marinette brushes it away, she has no time for this, she needs to go back as soon as she can to her apartment, turn up the heat and wrap herself with a thousand blankets before anything else can happen. 

She plays it cool, laughs and tries to distract them with silly stories. It isn’t enough to stop them and before she arrives they lend her a windbreaker to wear. It won’t be enough, she knows it, but she thanks them anyway.

She steps away from the store, shining in yellow and with her bag on her hands. She takes a deep breath and starts running again. 

Only two steps away from the post office and it begins to drizzle. Another thing she should have taken into consideration since the news won’t stop talking about the upcoming storm. 

Marinette huffs, she puts the hoodie of the windbreaker on top of her head and runs.

The cold gets worse. It runs up her skin and pours in her veins, the cold is thick and freezes her blood. She can feel her limbs shaking, as well as the cheer of her teeth, it does not only make a horrible sound, but it also makes her whole head shake and hurt. 

Then the drizzle turns into showers and Marinette has to stop because if she keeps running she’ll slip and things will get worse. 

Marinette firmly takes the backpack and puts it on top of her head, taking one step at a time, as fast as she can but remaining steady. 

The wind blows and echoes on her ears. 

Her limbs are heavy, and her vision turns blurry. 

She can feel it. The cold has taken over and her body is protecting her, or trying to at least by shouting down. 

Marinette is walking but also slowly falling asleep.

Her eyelids are getting heavier, her lashes flutter on her vision, her limbs become numb. 

Between the blur and the rain, she finds a place to hold on to. 

She drags her feet and hugs the light post. Keeping herself afloat, but slowly, slowly falling into the deep corners of a dream. 

Falling,

            falling,

                       falling for real. 

Her head hits the floor, her eyes shut and a gasp escapes from her lips before she finally falls into the deepest sleep. 

 

**xx**

 

Sunshine holds her down. She is warm again. 

Her eyes flickr open. Surprise beats loud in her heart.

As good as it feels to be away from the cold, she can’t help but wonder how she escaped winter. 

With eyes wide open she stares at her wall, Adrien’s wall, she can tell by the posters she still hasn't put away. It means she is back home, in his bed. 

She looks down, she is under the sheets, wrapped in a fluffy blanket, she is on her pajamas and can feel she has socks on. When she tries to move she realizes that she has at least two more blankets on top of her and what is more surprising and scary is that someone is hugging her. 

Her breathe gets caught on her throat as she jolts from side to side to be able to turn around and look at the stranger. That must not be a total stranger but one of her friends. 

When she sees golden locks she chokes. 

From all people, she wasn’t expecting him. Not now at least, before the fight, she would be surprised if it wasn’t anyone but him, but right now she can’t believe her eyes. 

No wonder she felt like sunshine was holding her when she has the prettiest and warmest day of summer laying next to her. She feels cheesy for thinking that but that’s what Adrien has always been to her, liquid sunset and the essence of pure love. 

After a vigorous fight with the blanket, she sets one arm free and reaches for his face. They’ve been here before, she has needed him to warm herself up, but she has never been afraid of touching him like she is now. 

She can’t hold back, not even fear can keep her away from her. Marinette cups his cheek and then she plays with strings of his hair, she follows the angles of his features and admires the face of the man who’ll never be hers. 

So entranced on the vision that he is, she is struck with the touch of his hand and surprised when her sight crushes with his green eyes. 

“You’re awake,” He says, a little smile drawing on his lips.

“You’re here,” It is the only thing that she can think of now, and it is the only thing she says. 

Adrien puts his weight on his hand and sits on the bed. He leans towards her and pushes away the blankets, helping her seat to. 

Now they’re face to face, their knees are almost touching and she can hear his heartbeat harmonizing with hers. The first time they see each other after that atrocious fight.

“How long have you been here, Adrien?”

“Four or five hours,” 

“Why are you here?” 

Is the obvious question isn’t it? They haven’t spoken or see each other in over a month, a fine rarity between them. 

Adrien tilts his head and looks at her, he sighs and clicks his tongue, and Marinette can’t do anything of these motions, she can’t read his mind, he is too far away. 

“I… I felt something was wrong,” Adrien whispers, “My hands started to feel cold, so very cold, and then my heart hurt like hell. I’ve only felt that once in my life… when you… when you…”

“I know,” She reaches for his hand and reassures him. Marinette remembers that battle perfectly. Their last battle, their worst battle. 

“I knew something was wrong with you. I followed my gut and I found you.”

“Oh…” Marinette pulls a string of her back and looks down, too afraid to keep her eyes on his. “I didn’t know that… that we still had our…”  _ Our connection _ . 

“Neither did I,” He admits and shrugs. 

His hand wraps around her tightly, and his thumb brushes on her knuckles. 

“But I’m glad is still there,”

“You are?” She genuinely asks.

The frustration shines on his eyes, “Yes, Marinette. I do not wish to see you dead. You might make it hard to love you and I might be angry, but that doesn’t change the fact that  _ I love you _ .”

Marinette stays quiet, unsure of how to proceed. 

“What were you thinking going out like that? You know winter is dangerous for you,”

“I wasn’t thinking,” She hisses. 

“That’s unlike you,” He is right and wrong all at once. “You also have the heat off, I tried to turn it on but it seems like you forgot to pay for gas,”   
“Oh,” She is actually surprised by that, she thought all her bills were to date.

“I talked to the landlord and paid it, so it won’t be a problem now,”   
“You didn’t have to do that!”

“I did. You  _ need _ to be warm,” Adrien rubs his temples. She can tell she’s testing his patience, “If the bills are too much for you, you should find a new roommate.”

She doesn’t hesitate, “I don’t want another roommate.”   
Marinette sees Adrien’s expression change from happiness to sadness in a mere second. It all ends with confusion and anger. 

“I don’t like you living alone,”

“It doesn’t matter what you like,”

“I’m worried, Marinette!” He screams and lets go of her hand. It feels as cold as the weather outside.

“You’re skinny…  _ unhealthy _ skinny,” Adrien says, it’s not the first time he says it, it probably wont’ be the last if she keeps with her antics. “I saw the pile of clothes and all your tools around the living room. You’re overworking yourself again!”

“I’m self-employed, it is what I do,”   
“No, that’s not true.” Adrien shakes his head, “Please find a roommate, someone who takes care of you, someone that-”   
“I don’t need anyone to take care of me,”

“You clearly do,” Adrien moves nearer and takes her by her arms, “Marinette, please. I can’t be here to see if you’re okay, let someone else be,”   
“Why can’t you?” It was a thought but somehow it found its way to her tongue. 

Adrien’s pupils dilate and a pile of emotions rushes through Marinette. 

He loses his grip and his hands softly caress her. He moves even closer and his hand reaches her cheek. 

Marinette gulps as he touches with such softness that she feels like she is melting. 

If the curse wasn’t constantly on the back of her mind, this would be the moment where she would let her heart take over and catch his lips with hers. If she could only let herself be free for a second, to taste his lips just one more time. That one wasn’t enough, it would never be. 

The silence is awkward and dangerous, so she says a phrase that she knows will get a reaction from Adrien. 

“Why are you here?”

“I think I already explained that?” Rage echoes in his words. 

“Why are you  _ still _ here?”

“Why do you keep pushing me away?” He is not angry, he is worn-out. 

“Why do you answer my questions with more questions?” She knows the only way to make him go away is being aggressive.    
“Why aren’t you honest with me, Marinette? Why do you keep putting this act?” 

These are not the questions she expected, neither is his reaction. He is, for some strange reason, quite calm. 

“Why are you --” Marinette stops, “You were mad at me, hurt. I get it, you know? You don’t have to pretend it’s okay, you can be as angry as you want, for as long as you want. I deserve an ice treatment.”

Adrien rolls his eyes, still not losing his composure. 

“I’m still a little hurt, but when I sat down on my apartment and went through the facts I realized something that I can’t ignore. You willingly did something selfish, knowing it would bring me pain. That’s not who you are, Nette. You can be impulsive and jealousy has taken the best of you once or twice, but you would never hurt me on purpose. It only makes me conclude that something horrible is happening to you.” Adrien presses one finger against her lips, “Why won’t you tell me? Or why  _ can’t _ you tell me? What is keeping you from sharing this secret? Don’t try to feed me lies, my lady. I won’t stop until I figure out what’s wrong with you and see a sincere smile of yours again. I haven’t seen one in months, maybe years.”

“Adrien…”   
“Destructive behavior is my thing. Without noticing I’ve let you fall into it but don’t worry, bug, as always, I have your back.”   
He won’t stop, he really won’t. It is not only on his words but on his eyes and his whole body. He is willing to go far and beyond to get her secret. 

This is dangerous. He can’t ever know. It will destroy him as it destroyed her.

_ “Don’t.” _   
“Don’t what?”

“Don’t have my back, don’t try too hard for me.”

“From the moment we met I’ve been utterly yours, Marinette. I’ll always be there for you. You are asking something impossible. ”

“It  _ is _ possible.”

“Marine--

“I don’t want you to have my back. I don’t want you to take care of me. I don’t want us to be a team anymore. I want to forget all about my superhero past, and that includes you,” She lies through her teeth, “That’s what is happening to me. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Adrien’s eyes widen, his jaw tenses and she can finally see him getting angry. 

She has triumphed, she has what she wanted but she doesn’t feel like a winner. She never will. 

The silence reigns again, and the lie burns her throat. This is the worst words that she has ever said, she can’t believe she ever thought of them. 

But they are all the opposite of what she thinks, and maybe, just maybe it will make him go away forever, and then he will finally be happy as he deserves to be. She will not be an obstacle on his path anymore. 

Marinette misses the moment when his anger turns into tears. 

His eyes are waterfalls, his cheeks rose buds and they’re drowning. 

He takes her hands and squeezes strongly. 

“Why are you doing this?” In his question, he begs for mercy, “You told me you were jealous and now that I’m trying to fix our friendship you are telling me you don’t want nothing to do with me? What are you hiding? What are you playing? What, no, why…  _ Why are you doing this _ ?”

‘Because I love you’ doesn’t sound like a good answer but is the honest truth. 

Sadly, he will never know.

“Leave,” She says, swallowing her own tears. He can’t see her weak or he won’t ever leave.

“This isn’t the end of this, Nette,” Adrien says, but stands up anyway. He walks to the door and turns back to her, “I’ll figure this out, even if is the last thing I do.”

Marinette smiles. He’s always been so naïve. 

She made sure to make the curse a secret between Tikki, Plagg and her. No one else could ever know. Especially not him. 

She’ll have to find a way to make him hate her, or he would never find the happiness she so dearly wanted for him to have. The happiness she considered so important, that it had made her own happiness nothing but a background goal in her life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did the count and i think we have 3 more chapters  
> there's a low chance that they could be 7, a low change that they could me more than 8 but that small chance is higher than the 7 chapters chance. does that make any sense? idk it is very late, it's finals season and im tired lol  
> hope you enjoyed another chapter of full angst. :D 
> 
> all the love  
> find me on tumblr: buginettez.


	6. a lack of sanity, losing touch with reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i added a chapter bc this one was getting way too long and the essence of this fic is short chapters :)
> 
> find me on tumblr: buginettez

Marinette walks under the crying Parisian sky. 

An umbrella in hand, a bag with an empty container that once had cookies. At first, she thought that maybe she had exceeded herself this year, that maybe they were too many cookies. 

She should never have doubted. 

Of course, Tikki ate every single one of the cookies. 

The little kwami had been so happy to get to eat her cookies again. Remembering how adorable she looked makes Marinette’s heart squeeze so hard. 

A sigh escapes from her lips, she looks down at her fingers and moves them, trying to dissipate the tingle that has begun at her fingertips. 

_Every damn time._

Magic would never really leave her, would it? 

The rush is like sparkling adrenaline, as sweet as relief and calming like the sound of ocean waves. However, it is also filled with the heartbeat rhythm of the wings of a hummingbird, too fast to ever be comfortable. 

Right now, it feels like her heart will jump out of her chest. It is probably a consequence of staying longer than she should have. But she just couldn’t leave, there was so much to talk about, so many tears to share with who will always be her most loyal friend. 

It was not only lovely to see her after the whole year they had been apart, but it was also been wonderful to be understood, to not be looked with judgment. As much as she loves her friends, they always look at her and judge her, they can deny it or try to hide it but Marinette sees what they think reflected in their eyes. 

No one would ever understand what she does for Adrien, what she does to protect themselves of the curse, no one except Tikki and Plagg. The stares full of prejudice, doubt and anger would never leave her. 

She has grown accustomed to it, but it is always nice to know that someone will back her up because is still uncomfortable to be looked at like that. 

Her talk with Tikki wasn’t enough to make her happy, but it helps to go through the day, and it will help her go through the years. 

As much as it hurt to be separated from Adrien, it makes things easier. Being away means they’re both safe. 

Marinette grips the umbrella with more pressure. 

Being logical doesn’t always work. Her head knows that being safe must be her top priority, that not letting her heart and her overwhelming emotions take over what’s most sacred to her it is the right way to go. Nonetheless, when you love someone as much as she loves Adrien, missing him becomes physical pain. 

She twirls her wrist and looks at the time. She has plenty before she has to go to her next stop, so she decides to walk around the city. 

She walks for hours, enjoying the rain and the strange lack of coldness. She uses her time walking to think and think and then overthink. 

**xx**

Four hours later she reaches her real destination, an actual place and not a spot she was dragged to by her crazy state of mind. 

Marinette enters the pub and leaves the umbrella at the entrance. She shakes her hair and unzips her anorak as she walks to the table closest to the stage. 

She keeps her eyes on it, looking at the familiar drums, guitars, and bass, but none of the members of the band is on. Is odd. 

She changes her route and goes to the bar, the owner must know where Luka and the others must be. 

“Elliot?” She asks and waves at the bartender. 

He turns around immediately and gifts her a smile as he approaches.

“Good night, Nette. How are you doing?”

“Fine,” She lies, “Have you seen Luka?” 

“He is on the back, there’s a problem with one of the guitars,” He explains. 

“That sucks,”

“Yeah, he is not very happy about it,” He shrugs, “You can go, he won’t mind. There are already people there too so,”

Marinette nods and gives a step in the direction of the purple curtain that divides the pub from the back of the store. Where Luka and his band usually hang out the days they play here. 

She never reaches the little room, she only makes it as far as four steps when she freezes. She can’t move because in front of her the curtain has opened and Lucy appears. 

A knot ties on her throat and she awkwardly puts her hand up to wave at Lucy. There’s no reason for her to ignore her, no matter how much she wants to.

Lucy’s eyes pop wide open, and waves back at her.

Then something changes, Lucy looks uncomfortable and hugs herself as she approaches. When she passes the bar, she gives Elliot a look and then flinches to look back at her.

Marinette sees the scowl on Elliot’s face and bites her lip awkwardly. 

She would never understand what was the deal with those two. There is bad blood of some kind going on there. 

She asked Adrien once but he just told her that it wasn’t her business. 

Marinette wishes she knew, it would give her at least one thing to break the perfect vision she has of Lucy.

“So?” Elliot asks. It takes a second for Marinette to understand that it wasn’t aimed at her. 

“Luka hasn’t heard of him,” Lucy answers, it is almost a whisper and she never looks at Elliot. Her eyes are on Marinette. 

With the little information that Lucy provides, Marinette can conclude that she is looking for Adrien. 

And just like she predicts, Lucy waits no time asking her. 

“He isn’t with you?” Lucy’s eyelashes flutter and there’s something in the way that her lips curl that Marinette can’t translate. However, something tells her it isn’t good. 

“No…” Marinette gulps, “Adrien and I have not been talking, Lucy,” She admits, not only because is the truth, but because this could help Adrien. Marinette doesn’t believe for a second that Lucy is not a little bit angry at him after leaving her at the altar. 

“Luka says he had an important date today… you did too,” Lucy’s eyebrows crook, her mouth remains in a soft line. She is always been hard to read. 

“We have some mutual friends and we see them on this date every year,” Marinette says, without giving too much away, “But we never go together. I also don’t know at what time he planned to meet them,” She hadn’t asked Plagg. 

“You can tell me the truth, you know that, right?” Lucy puts her arms on her waist and leans a little closer to her, “I don’t mind,”

“ _That_ is the truth,” 

“I know he visited you last week, Marinette. You are telling me you didn’t made up?”  
“We did not,” _And if you know that we saw each other, I bet you also know that we_ didn’t _made up._

Lucy frowns, she taps her fingers on the waist of her pants and throws her head back. It’s a chain of motions that clearly mean something, but she is scared to understand what.  

“Is not like he is missing, Luce” Elliot says in the background. Both girls look at him with curiosity, “Luka says he is coming, asked me to give Adrien a few free shots and drinks when he came.”

“Not too strong. Adrien can’t handle his liquor,” Marinette hears herself say. She trembles when she feels Lucy’s sight back on her. 

“He was supposed to meet me here… I wasn’t going to come alone,” Lucy says, “He never breaks his promises,”

He never does. 

Marinette knows it better than anyone. 

“Something probably came up,” Marinette covers for him. If his visit was after hers, maybe he and Plagg had many things to discuss this year and he is staying longer. Just like she did.

“I’m worried,” Lucy looks down, “He is not doing okay, Marinette. He misses you,”  
“Oh, Lucy, I…” Marinette stops, not because she doesn’t know what to say but because her hands start to hurt. 

The tingle of magic had lasted longer than ever before, but now the sudden struck on her hand is something completely new and strange. Something to worry about. 

It is not on her fingertips either, it is on the palm of her hand. 

She’s felt this before. 

This isn’t good. 

“I have to go,” Marinette gasps, “I’m sorry,”

And then, she runs. 

She hears Lucy calling for her but that’s a problem for another time. Right now she needs to find Adrien. The pain on her hand is all she needs to know that he has done something stupid. 

**xx**

It is just like he said last week. 

She felt something wrong with him and she followed her instincts, and there he was. Their connection was still there, working as fine as ever. 

Their relationship, however, was not. Approaching was one of the hardest things she’d done, and she had been through hell and back on these past months. 

Marinette takes slow steps inside the alley. 

Her hands are on fists and she is barely breathing as she watches the debris on the ground and the man leaning against the building wall with black hands. 

She is sure he has already heard her but is avoiding her on purpose. 

“Adrien,” Marinette whispers, is barely audible but she hopes his cat-hearing can catch it, even under the rain. 

“Go away,” He says between clenched teeth. 

Marinette does not, that only makes her take a step further. 

When she does, she sees him. 

“Plagg?” Marinette asks in surprise.

The black kwami is right beside his last chosen, but he doesn't look as he always does. There’s a red line following the curve of his mouth and goes up, it almost reaches his left eye. It looks like a burn.

“Oh my god, what happened?!” Marinette runs to them. 

A snapping wave lashes at her, or so she feels. The energy surrounding Adrien is strong and feral. 

“Adrien?” She stutters his name. 

There’s something wrong. 

Adrien puts his hands on fists and lets out a heavy growl. He turns around and finally faces her. 

Adrien’s eyes are red. His chest falls and jumps in a discordant rhythm. He is biting his lip so harshly that he has made it bleed.  

He is angry as she has ever seen him.

Then she notices how Plagg is reacting to him. 

The kwami is floating right beside him, immobile, mouth shut and eyes wide open with fear. 

“Plagg, come here,” Marinette says to test out what she fears. 

Plagg doesn’t move and when he tries an electric field pops up for a second and then the kwami trembles in pain. 

Something breaks inside her. 

Marinette forgets about the energy and jumps towards Adrien, pushing him away from the wall and shaking his body, hoping this will bring sense back to him. 

“What are you doing?!” 

“I forgot how nice it felt to destroy things…,” Adrien whispers. His voice falls like a snowflake, slow, steady and cold. 

“You’re hurting, Plagg,” Marinette tells him.

She extends her hand, trying to reach for his arm but he flinches away once again. 

“Well, he said some very hurtful things to me,”

“And you’re getting back at him by stealing the ring and command him?”

Adrien’s teeth chirp so loud she can hear it. He takes two steps forward, towards her and pulls her by her wrist. 

He grips too tight but she doesn’t complain, because that’s not what it hurts. It is the rush of energy coming from the ring. 

_What happened at the visit?_

Marinette looks at Plagg, who is trying to communicate only with his eyes. 

It is hard, he is under Adrien’s control but he tries hard. 

He doesn’t look angry or hateful towards Adrien, which leads Marinette to believe that Adrien might not be in complete control of what he is doing. 

Marinette approaches carefully and manages to get her hands free, only to take him by his wrists. She might be skinny and shorter than him, but there’s still superheroine strength somewhere inside her. Also, he would never hurt her, and to snap free he would have to. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” 

Drops fall in her lashes and cheeks, she is thankful that the rain can camouflage her tears. Seeing Adrien like this is atrocious, and has only happened once before. Not the best memories to have. 

Adrien nods and something shifts in the way he is standing. 

“I was sad,” He whispers,

“Okay,” She nods and tilts her head to get a better look of him.

“Plagg thought I needed to release some steam…. we took the ring,” Marinette closes her eyes and sighs to not roll her eyes at Plagg. What the hell was he thinking? 

“We were having fun,” Adrien whines, “We saw you… it wasn’t funny anymore,”

The rain gets heavier, so does Adrien’s breathing. Marinette vibrates just by the way he moves. 

She is afraid. 

Not of him. Never of him. 

She is afraid of what he is feeling, afraid of what it is making him feel act like this. 

“Why would he said that?!” Adrien screams. Tears fall on his cheeks, “He wouldn’t lie! Not to me!” 

“Adrien, calm down,” Marinette orders. Keeping her eyes on his, trying to make them connect, to make him follow her moves. To gain control over him so he doesn’t snap. 

“It doesn’t make sense! Why would _you_ do that?!” 

Then he loses it again. 

“Adrien, I don’t understand. You need to calm down and explain it to me. We can figure this out together,” 

“Tell. Her.” Adrien shakes his hand and Plagg is dragged to the middle. 

Plagg keeps quiet, is clear that he is fighting hard to not open his mouth. 

It only makes Adrien angrier. 

“Tell her!” 

Plagg twirls in the air, his eyes glow greener than ever.

He is visibly in pain. 

Marinette gasps loudly and tries to reach for the kwami. She still has magic running on her skin, she can be of help. 

Adrien doesn’t let her touch him.

“Don’t do this! How can you do that to him?! You’re hurting him, Adrien!”

“He is fine! He is okay with it!” Adrien says and pushes her away. Is soft, but it still hurts. 

“He doesn’t look like it,” Marinette jumps, trying to get the little creature who gleams in a strange color. 

That couldn't’ be good. 

The whole situation is a spiral of chaos, unraveling slowly but strongly. 

“Please tell her! Tell her what you said to me!”   
“I can’t, kid! It took all of my strength to tell _you_!” Plagg finally shouts. The red mark turns brighter. 

“What are you two talki-

“He said you are in love with me!” Adrien pulls Plagg closer once more. “That you’ve _always_ been in love with me. That you _still_ are, that Tikki can still feel it. That you and Tikki spoke about it!”

He takes one step towards her, his hands reaching for her arms, but then he seems to change his mind and walks as far as he can.

It feels like a bucket of ice has been thrown at her. 

He can’t know.

Marinette made sure of it. 

“Adrien I think you misunderstood,” She starts, her voice is slow and controlled. She needs to lie well. 

Adrien lets out a laugh and he throws his hands in the air. 

The rain does not help to make the situation better. It usually does, it usually brings calm to her heart, but right now it only increases the chaos. 

“Tell me why would he lie? Tell me why would he say something like that? Why would he hurt me like this?!” 

Marinette’ can’t find an excuse. 

He is right. Plagg would never hurt him on purpose. 

Adrien kicks a puddle and then hits a wall. 

Marinette winces. 

It hurts to see him like this, overwhelmed by the power of destruction. 

It is unlike him, it's so aloof of who he really is that it makes her stomach twist in knots, and acid boils down her throat.

Plagg spins around Adrien’s head. She can feel how desperate he is. 

There’s sorry written all over his eyes. 

She needs to set him free. 

Marinette jumps, trying to catch him.

Adrien gives a twist of his hand, where the ring is, and Plagg, against his will, flies higher. 

“Leave him alone!” Marinette begs in a pierced scream.

“Answer me, Marinette, _please!_ ”

“How can you do this to him?! You’re hurting him!” 

But Adrien doesn’t stop. 

He's always been emotional and this situation has taken him completely out of it. It is like he is not here anymore, is only his feelings. 

Only his anger. 

It must be the ring. Marinette thinks. It is the only thing that explains why he can’t keep control of himself.

They are not supposed to have them. There’s a reason why they can only visit the kwamis once a year. 

She has to do something, she has to stop him before something bad happens. 

In the back of her mind, she remembers how they both acted when they used their powers to their peak. She remembers the insanity. 

Adrien is halfway there. 

Her brain doesn’t compute. There are no lies or values to keep up, only feelings. Feelings as turbulent as a rocky river. 

Marinette knows Adrien would never let Plagg get consumed by magic. He would never push it too far. 

However, there’s doubt pushing in the back of her mind. 

The Adrien she knows would never do that, but the Adrien consumed by magic is unstable.

She can’t keep running. There’s no other way to get out of this than the true. 

Marinette pulls Adrien by the sleeve of his jacket and brings him close to her so it is impossible for him not to listen to her. 

Her mouth opens but nothing comes up. Her body doesn’t let her. 

Marinette is so used to lying now that her body feels sick just by thinking about telling the truth. 

But it has to be done. 

She pushes herself far her limit, but she finally does it. 

“Is true, okay’!” Is true! I’m in love with you!” She shouts, “ _Happy now?!_ Let him go!” 

Adrien snaps his fingers and Plagg is set free. 

He, however, has been sent down on an inescapable spiral. 

Adrien starts laughing maniacally, just like he did when he found her after her wedding escapade. 

He loses his balance and falls to the floor, landing on top of a puddle. Dirt splashes all over him but he can’t mind. 

Marinette falls with him, trying to bring him back on his feet. 

“Why?” Adrien whimpers.

She can’t answer, too caught up on the scene in front of her. 

Adrien’s eyes are dark, something sinister crosses them as he looks at a dead point. 

Plagg lands on Marinette’s shoulder. 

“Take off the ring,” He whispers on her ear, “Its magic is making his emotions stronger. The ring can feel you too, which makes him more aware of everything else. His brain must be chaos,” 

So, she was right. It was the ring. 

Marinette squeezes his hand and pulls it close to her, she reaches for the ring but Adrien growls. 

He pulls his hand back and hides the ring behind the other. 

“I need the ring, Adrien. Now.”

“No,”  
“Adrien,”

 _“Why?!_ ” She knows she is not asking about the ring. He is asking about her feelings, why did she keep them hidden?

She can’t understand why this is so torturous to him. 

Why must he know? 

Their friendship is already ruined. Why could he win from knowing why she kept it a secret?

“You didn’t tell him?” Marinette asks Plagg. 

He shakes his head, “We can’t. You ordered us to keep it a secret from Adrien. I found a loophole to tell him about your feelings, but that was about it...”

It is like being on the battlefield one more time. 

The rush of adrenaline and fear, the constant feeling of being in the edge of a cliff, running with unlaced shoes. 

And Adrien… Adrien is his own island, there’s nothing that can go through him now. He isn’t aware of the fight that’s going around him, he is a piece of land being hit by tsunami waves that take away everything, but he remains acting like it was just a storm. 

He is hurt, but he can’t see that he has to run. 

He won’t ever see it. Adrien almost never protects himself. 

Adrien is selfless and willing to do everything and anything for the people he loves, but when it comes to him he doesn’t mind as much. He puts a neon sign on his head if that means protecting someone else, he doesn’t care if he is the target. 

Marinette must think quickly.

They can’t stay here, they’ve already been out for too long, and if they stay longer the layers of clothes she is wearing won’t be enough to keep her warm and things will turn even more difficult. 

_That’s it!_

“Adrien…”

He keeps looking down, shaking his head and crying.

“Adrien,” She says louder, “I’m freezing,”

_It’s instantaneous._

Whatever trance he was on shatters.

His instinct _is_ and will _always_ be to protect her. 

Adrien kneels and catches by her waist, pulling her close to him. 

He opens his coat and tries to wrap her on it, as he stands up and her in the process. 

This is her chance.

Marinette intertwines her fingers with his, something she does when she is really cold, something he won’t doubt. 

Adrien receives her gladly, and then she snaps the ring. 

It takes a second for Adrien to understand what happens. His eyes open wide and his mouth hangs open with surprise. 

“Hey,” She cups his cheeks and brushes right beside the curve of his lips “Better?”  
Adrien’s eyes ramble around her, the alley and then Plagg. They start to gain their usual green color back. 

He nods and lets out a little “uh”. 

She puts her hand on top of his forehead, and brushes away his damp hair, cleaning the dirt away. 

“We give Plagg and the ring back and then we go home, okay?” 

It is an order hidden under a sweet question. But right now, is what she needs. 

“Nette,”  
“ _Okay?_ ” She says harsher this time. 

He simply nods. 

“Let’s go, my umbrella is just right there,” 

Marinette tries her best to keep her phrases calm. Like a usual conversation between them would go. 

It is a coping mechanism because after her revelations she doesn’t know how things will go, so she’ll enjoy these last moments of incertitude. 

As they walk, his hand wraps around her and he pulls it close, nuzzling his cheek against it.

Adrien remains quiet the whole path back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D  
> :D  
> :D


	7. i'm a fool for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adrien learns about the curse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: buginettez

They only share a few words when they come to the apartment.

“Are you gonna scold me as you did with Plagg?” He whispers.

“No,” She says as she twists the key and opens the door. Then she abruptly changes the subject, “I’m gonna change. You can do the same,” 

Marinette doesn’t look back and swiftly moves to her room to get a change of clothes, and then to the bathroom.

Once inside the shower, the drops of water are hot and help her relax. As she washes her hair, slower than she usually does, she thinks that she should have used the other bathroom, the one that used to be hers. The shower is lower in that one and Adrien used to hit his head all the time. 

Too late now, and he can figure out on his own. There were more troublesome things to deal with. 

Dressed and with her body releasing a bit of the tension thanks to the hot water, she nervously waddles back to the living room as she dries her hair with a towel. 

Adrien is sitting on the couch and staring at the TV, but there’s nothing on.

He wears some old sweatpants and white t-shirt he left behind and Marinette has been using as pajamas. They’re matching. 

Marinette fidgets uncomfortably on her place. 

She can do much with the way he looks at her. 

Their eyes meet. The sensation it gives is a bonfire. 

Seconds pass, maybe even minutes but Marinette can’t find the words to speak. This is difficult, it changes all the outline she had. Without a plan, it is hard for her to improvise. In the battlefield, this was never a problem, but when it came to Adrien her whole scheme broke down. 

Adrien stares, a neutral expression on his face. 

He puts his hand up and waves it at her, then he pats the cushion of the couch. He is calling for her to sit beside him.

She is not sure if she can handle being so close.  

When she doesn’t move, Adrien sighs disappointed. 

“You love me,” He says, breaking the silence.

“I’ve always loved you,” Marinette shrugs, knowing this is not what he means. 

She wins an exasperated look back. 

She deserves it. 

“You’re _in love_  with me, Marinette. That’s what you said,”

She thinks about being funny, throw a joke and light up the situation, but this is serious. It is not time to protect herself, it is time to put all her cards on the table and finally explain what’s been going on during all these years. 

No matter the consequences. 

“Yes,”

“Yes?” He says rising a brow, he looks at her with wonder. Like a kid on Christmas morning. 

“Yes, I’m in love with you,” 

Adrien’s lips curl in a smile, he bites his lip and shakes his head.

“You’re in love with me,” He says beaming. 

Marinette looks at him puzzled. 

Why is he radiating so much happiness? 

Adrien jumps off the couch, it is almost like he had a spring on him and he lands right in front of her. 

His hands are on her waist and he presses their bodies together. He giggles as his hands make their way to her cheeks and squeezes them a little.

The word confusion falls too short to describe her feelings at the moment. 

“What’s that look, my lady?”

“What are you doing?” She whispers, blinking fast. 

She is so lost. 

Her hands press against his chest, trying to push him away. 

He misunderstands the gesture and takes one of her hands between his. 

“Why did you keep it a secret?” He asks and his sight pierces her soul.

“I was scared,” She doesn’t have to lie to give an answer. 

His eyes narrow, a soft smile appears on his lips.

“Is that why you lied? Why you tried to push me away?”  
Marinette nods, unable to speak. 

“In retrospective, you must have been so frightened princess,” He says, his eyes shine with tears, “To lie to me like that,”

Marinette presses her lips together as hard as she can. The tears are filling her eyes, her body is shaking. 

“That night,” Adrien starts, slowly leaning his head, “When we kissed… you said… you, that you were sleep-deprived, that you didn’t realize what was really happening. Was that a lie, too?” 

The answer is obvious to her, but in his eyes, she sees that is not obvious to him. 

“Yes, it was,” She says, “I kissed you back because I wanted to.”

That moment is so far away but it still burns and itches like a new scar. 

She remembers every move, every brush of flesh, the scent of lavender invading the room. Adrien’s hands on her hair and on her waist, pulling her closer, demanding more of her than she could ever give him. 

She remembers breaking it off. Seeing his smile and glittering eyes. The total adoration of a man who was about to have his heart broken. 

It’s a shame to say that it's one of her favorite memories.

Adrien leans and his nose brushes against hers. He hums a sweet melody. 

“What are you doing?” She asks again, more desperate this time. 

If what she thinks is happening, is really happening, nothing good will come out of it. 

“I’m about to kiss you,” He smiles.

Her eyes widen. 

“I’m in love with you too, princess. Don’t tell me you didn’t know?”

“No,” Marinette sobs. 

That is not only an answer to his question, it is also a beg she sends to the universe. 

With Adrien pressed against her, all his past behavior is clear, everything makes sense just by revealing he is in love because of course, he is! She couldn’t be that blind. But he can’t be, she just hopes this is some sort of illusion because this is the worst-case scenario. 

This is worse than being rejected. This is worse than having to explain that her heart is in pain because he let him go those couple of years ago. 

Adrien backs away and looks at her. 

He is confused.

He is sad. 

“No?” Adrien clears his throat, “I mean, I won’t kiss you if you don't’ want to... I just thought…”

Marinette can’t keep it together anymore. She breaks down.

Tears stream down her face, uncontrolled loud sobs go out of her mouth and she holds Adrien tightly to not fall to the ground. 

She can hear Adrien saying her name. His hands trying to caress her and bring her back or to make the pain go away. But it is insufferable. 

This is the most frightening moment she has ever faced. A moment she only encountered on her worst nightmares. 

Adrien loves her. After everything she’s done, he still loves her. Not only that, he is in love! 

_They’re in love!_

They’re in love and she can’t be happy about it! She can’t dance around in her room, she can’t call her best friend and gush on the phone, she can’t throw herself at him and kiss him until she forgets her name. 

There’s a curse and being in love means destruction. 

“I do want to,” Marinette lets herself be reckless for a few seconds. Her fingertips trace the curve of his lips. 

Adrien closes his eyes at her touch. His fingers dig in her skin, pressing her even closer, not even letting air come between them.

“So, so bad,” 

“But?” Adrien asks opening his eyes and obligating her to give the truth. 

“I can’t,”

Adrien furrows his brows and clicks his tongue. His eyes san through her face. 

“What are you afraid of? I love you back, there’s no rejection or broken hearts. We love each other.” 

“Is not that easy,” She whines and presses her head against his chest.

Sobs star to come out of her lips and she shakes. Adrien is tense under her. 

“Why not? What could possibly be difficult?” He asks, “Explain to me. I’ll help you figure out,” 

“You can’t help me, Adrien. You can’t help us. This is bigger than us,”

“Marinette?” Adrien grabs her by her shoulders and pushes her back, to look at her face, “What do you mean with bigger than us?”

There’s a spark in his eyes. Recognition. He must be putting the pieces together, all the information she has given through the years. She can tell that he sees where this is going. 

“I never wanted you to know,” Marinette admits, “I wanted you to be the happiest you could ever be,” 

Adrien frowns unconformably. Not knowing is bothering him.

“There’s a curse, Adrien…” Is the first time she says this out loud to him. It sounds like a glass crashing when it hits the floor. 

“A curse?” His question shakes. 

Adrien tilts his head confused. 

“We  _can’t_ be together.”

 _“We can’t?_  Who said so?”  
“The miraculous, magic, the ancients scripts, I don’t know,” She whines, “Whoever ports the ladybug miraculous can’t love or pursue a romantic bond with their counterpart, the cat, and vice versa”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Adrien shakes his hands in front of her, “This is a miraculous curse?”

“Yes,” Marinette nods.

“That you didn’t want me to know,”

“Yes,” She nods again.

“That’s not fair. I’m part of this team, Marinette. We’ve discussed this many, many times...” Adrien scowls. He is angry. 

“I was keeping us safe!”

“Safe from what?”

“The curse!” It’s Marinette’s time to get angry.

“What does this curse do? A curse that keeps us apart? I’m quite confused, Marinette because we lived together for many years. Will I die if you kiss me? That can’t be it because you already have. Sex? I can live without it if I have you,”  
“No,” Marinette longs the o. It sounds like a tantrum. “Bad things happen if we love each other, Adrien!”

“But we already do! What are the bad things could happen? Shouldn’t they have happened already?” 

“I don’t know! But you are aware of how strong the energies can be, how they can control you. You were controlled by the ring just today. Imagine if we had to take that every damn day.”

“Again, we  _lived_ together, how is this different?”  
“I don’t know, Adrien!” She shouted, fire on her voice and eyes. Why was he dismissing her like that? “It hasn’t happened to us, but to those holders who have loved each other….” A tear drops of her eyes, then a cascade follow. 

“What happens?” Adrien pushes. 

There’s worry on his voice, on his stand towards her but the curiosity is bigger. 

“It’s insanity… the past holders, they…. they were consumed by the energy and them…” Marinette stutters, it gets harder to breathe, “They kill themselves or they kill each other.”

Her last phrase seems to awaken something inside of him. 

His eyes dart her, swift yet trembling. Fear leaks and spreads through his whole body.

He loudly gulps, then puts one hand on top of his heart. 

Adrien stands up, his hands go to his hair and he pulls. 

He grunts softly.

How sexy that would be if the situation was different, Marinette thinks and then she brushes it off.

“When was the last time this happened?”

“Sorry?” She asks, she lost her train of thought. 

“When was the last time a holder died… like that?”

“Uh…” Marinette looks up, one finger pocks her cheek repeatedly, trying to remember. 

“Long time ago, isn’t it?” 

“I don’t know. Tikki said that not every holder falls in love with another, so I don’t remember who was the last pair _to die in the hands of each other,_ ” Marinette hisses, seeing Adrien’s expression. 

He is doubting her. 

“Mmm..”

“What?” She gives one step near him. 

“Do we even know the reason why it happens? It sounds strange that only the ones who fall in love go down the crazy route,”

“I don’t make the rules. Believe me, things would be so much different if I did,”

“How are you so sure it’ll happen to us?” This time is Adrien who comes closer. 

“Adrien, you and I both know how wicked magic can be,” She purses her lips, “The only reason we’ve been safe is that I’ve kept us apart. Do you think I wanted to break your heart Do you think it was easy to walk away from you when you confessed your feelings? You were, you are, and will always be all I ever wanted. But if we get together  _we die_. I won’t let that happen.”

On the corner of her eyes, she sees Adrien lifting his hand, reaching for her but stops when he is about to take her hand. 

Marinette’s sight drops to her lonely cold hand. She wants him to touch her. 

Adrien throws his head back, his hands find their way to his hair again. 

Her words echo and bounce around the room, they become louder as they fall into a deep silence. 

Adrien walks in circles around the coffee table. He looks at her from time to time and starts to mumble. It’s impossible to make something of the sounds. This is something he does when he is nervous, astonished or can’t come up with a plan. 

Marinette watches him carefully, focusing on his expression to make something of it, to start the conversation again. She went through this before, she made amends with the situation, she can help him. She just doesn’t know where to begin to appease him. 

Adrien stops, spins on his heels and puts his hands up.

 _Oh_ , here he goes. 

“Let’s say it happens. The curse is real,”

“The curse  _is_  real, Adrien.” He _must_  understand this. 

“Okay, okay,” He nods and rubs his forehead and winces. “It is real. It means we have an advantage, we have been warned. We can figure out what triggers it and do something about it before it happens to us,”

“Magic triggers it, I already explained this to you,”

“But it doesn’t make sense to me,” 

“What doesn’t make sense to you?” It actually doesn’t make sense to her either but magical things almost never do. 

“I haven’t killed you or myself, neither have you,”

“We are  _not_ together,”  _As it isn’t plainly obvious._

“But we love each other,” Adrien says, “We’ve  _always_  loved each other,”

Marinette’s heart trembles. It’s a fact she’s well aware of, but it hits different when it comes from his mouth. 

“Ye… yes…”

“Bad things will happen if we love each other, that’s what you said, but we have already been in love for all these years. How do we know if bad things aren’t happening right now? How do we know if ‘bad things’ always end up with dead?” He says the last part with a silly voice. It makes her a little angry.

Why is he taking this so lightly?

Nonetheless, she keeps her cool. This is the way Adrien is coping with this, and she has to accept it. 

“What? What do you mean?”

“Look at you… you’re hurting, you’re losing yourself…. You said that bad things happen when black cats and ladybugs love each other. But we have loved each other for ten years, princess.  _Bad_ has been happening all these years, we have suffered…. what if these are the bad things? What if being together, makes it better?”

“That’s not how this goes, Adrien,” She says, to not say ‘ _you’re out of your mind’._  

“How do you know?”

That was a good question. 

She did not know. The only thing she has is information and stories.

But they’re veridic stories, tragic stories because of the curse. 

“They die, Adrien. Every single one of them has died in their own hands or the hands of their lover. Isn’t that proof enough? Is that what you want for us?”

“What I want is for us not to be miserable,” Adrien whines, “Do you think we’ll stop loving each other after this? Must we keep pretending to not be head over heels for the other? I’m begging for mercy here, Marinette.”

It might sound dramatic, her kitty  _is_ a drama queen, but for once he has not exaggerated. 

“It’s better than dying,” Marinette whispers.

She sits on the couch and hugs her legs, pressing her head against her knees. 

“We won’t die,”  
“Because we won’t be together,” She stops him before he can begin.

Unexpectedly, Adrien kicks the table. 

Marinette jolts and looks at him aghast. 

“Stop taking all the decisions,” Adrien says an octave higher than his usual tone, “There’s two of us here, you  _can’t_  choose for both of us,” 

“But-”  
“No,” He stops her, “You can’t keep choosing for me, you’ve done it all these years but we really have to do is talk about it. I understand this is your attempt at being selfless, but you are being quite the opposite. You are selfish towards me. I’ve wanted you and only you for as long as I’ve known you. Let me choose, let me choose to be with you,”

“No, I want you to be happy and you won’t be happy with me,”

 _“See?_  I wouldn’t push this too far if you said that  _you_  don’t want to be with me that  _you_  want to be happy, but all your choices have been made around  _my_  happiness.”

Marinette can’t answer to that. If she does she’ll let her guard down, if she does it is their ruin. 

He is right. She does want him and she would be lying if she did not try to find a way to be with him because if this came to only her, she would be ready to succumb in his hands -or her own- if that meant having him. 

However, she could not let him do that. 

“Your happiness-” She begins, only to be interrupted. 

“I’m not happy without you, Marinette!”

That makes her snap. 

_That’s a lie! A big fat lie!_

“Yes, you are, and you should be! Lucy makes you the happiest! More than I could have ever,” Marinette says, a flash of memories pops and vanishes quickly. She remembers all those times she saw him smiling because of her, “You’re the happiest when you’re with her,”

“I’m not,” Adrien shakes his head.

He walks around the table, takes one of the chairs at his side and drags it to seat right in front of her. 

“Listen,” He brushes his bangs back, “Lucy…  _Luce_ , she… she is awesome. She does make me happy but I was never fully or  _truly_ happy with her, Marinette. We weren’t a happy couple at all,”

“What are you talking about?” Marinette trembles.

That statement can’t be true. She knows what she saw. 

“I tried, she tried… we both… we both loved other people we couldn’t be with,” He sighs, “We love each other, we’re very close but…. as much as we tried, we are not in love with each other”  
“I don’t… I don’t understand. You were happy! You two are perfect for each other!”

With their soft smiles and their sad eyes, with their bright minds and their alluring looks. The way they move together, how they communicate without saying anything, the way they hold each other and take each other’s hands. What does he mean? 

They’re perfect!

“No, Marinette, we weren’t. We tried and we never could… Lucy and I have already accepted it, and you know? We are okay with it.” 

“No, no,  _no_. I see how Lucy looks at you and how much you shine when you’re with her. You are in love with her,” She can’t give in, she can’t believe this, or everything will crumble, she---

“I’m _not_ in love with Lucy. It’s always been you and only you,” 

“No!”

“Yes, Marinette,”  
“I don’t believe you! I’ve seen you!”  
“You’ve seen what we wanted to portray! This is what Lucy and I wanted you and everyone else in the world to see, but you don’t know what happened behind closed doors, you don’t know the real relationship that Lucy and I have,”

“It couldn’t be so different!” 

Adrien growls and stands up from the chair, it falls behind him as he walks in circles as he did only minutes ago.

Then he explodes.

“I’ve said your name, Marinette! Whenever I was with Lucy, I would imagine you in bed! She would do the same with her guy,” Adrien’s voice crumbles, it is almost a sob. He is desperate, “We would spend full nights seeing movies and crying and comforting each other because we missed other people. We thought that marrying each other, to make it public and celebrate with you two in there would make us change, we thought a wedding would help us move on! But of course, it didn’t!” 

Adrien laughs but it’s sad, “Lucy and I love each other but we’re not a real couple. We are just two people who happened to find each other and decided to unleash their chaotic love life together. We are each other’s safety net, but we are not each other’s love,”

The revelation is hard to digest. 

Marinette puts her hands down on the floor. Her hands feel clammy and she cleans them on top of her jeans. 

She holds her breath and stands up, walking to Adrien who has transported to his own little world and sees nothing but what’s ahead of him so he won’t fall. Everything else is invisible.

She steps right in front of him, holds him by his arms and leans to catch his sight. 

“You know that if there was a way I would be with you right now. No doubt, no hesitation, I would give you all of me in this very moment,”  
“There must be a way,” Adrien’s voice shakes, it’s when she realizes he is crying. 

“I asked our kwamis, there’s no spell or charm to fight it,”

“Then we must figure it out, Nette…

“Adrien…

“We can do it, I trust us,”

“Adrien,” She says again, hoping his name will make some sense into him because right now she can’t come up with a speech. He is too close.

“I’m in love with you,” He whispers.

It’s not what she was expecting to hear. Although, it is so lovely to hear it.  

Marinette shakes her head and closes her eyes. 

She won’t give in, she won’t give in!

Adrien cups her cheek, she feels him closer, his legs brush against her and can sense his hand on the wall, right beside her head. 

“I love you, princess. I’ve loved you from the very first day, I started loving you, even more, when I found out who you were, and after that day my love has only grown. With every smile, every word, even with every fight, my heart has filled itself with you,”

 _“Please_ ,” Marinette begs, but her body reacts to his closeness. 

Her hands reach for him, she tilts her head to him and her lips tremble, a gasp rushes through them. 

“I won’t let us die,” He promises, his nose nuzzles against hers. She doesn’t push him away, “You and I, we protect each other, don’t we?”  
“Yes,” Marinette murmurs. 

“You won’t let me die, and I won’t let you die,” Adrien says, “We’ll find a way. We’ll conquer this, like every villain of an awful situation. But…

“But?” Her eyes open a bit, Adrien is so close she closes them again, afraid of what she could do. 

“We must to it together. We are a team, we can’t be separated,”

His words are intoxicating and tempting. 

“I don’t want to lose you. I  _can’t._ ” 

“You won’t lose me,”

“Why are you so sure? Why aren’t you afraid?!” Marinette sobs.

Adrien cleans the tears that fall with kisses. 

“I’m terrified,” He admits, his words shake like a forest being hit by a storm. “But if there’s one thing I know well is how incredibly we are together, Marinette. I’m afraid, I won’t deny it, but I have so much faith in us. I know we can do this together if we only take the risk. It is what we do best.”

Marinette opens her eyes and meets his tearful ones. 

“We were reckless, weren’t we?” A smile pops on her lips when she remembers all the crazy plans they had done. 

“The worst,” He giggles, it makes her whole body shake. “But it paid off. We  triumphed every damn time,”

“And… you don’t think this time will be different?” 

“Not for a second,” And that’s what she fears. That he won’t be able to perceive when we enter the swirling tornado that their relationship would be. 

“You’ve been selfless for so long.” He touches her lower lip, “My lady, my princess, my best friend, love of my life, let yourself be happy without minding anyone else, keep this to yourself.” 

“We’re going to hurt each other, Adrien,” She says. It is a warning for him, and it is a reminder for her. 

She is about to let go. She must not. 

“I won’t let us,”

“ _Adrien,_ ”

“We are resourceful and quite headstrong. We’ll figure out, I know it.” 

He is so confident in their skills. Like she used to

Years of fear have made her reject every possibility that could exist without analyzing it. What Adrien is proposing is not impossible… 

Every fairy tale curse has a spell, a potion, a charm, something to turn it back. 

Why would this one be different?

When she first found out about the curse, she read every magic book she could find, she asked everyone she could and came up with a thousand crazy theories to find a cure, but nothing could have worked.

But maybe, maybe he was right. She had done all of that alone. 

While she was smart, efficient and creative and could trick her way out of sticky situations very easily, she had always been better with him at her side.

Maybe his positive perspective is what they needed. 

“My lady, let me love you like you deserve to be loved.” It is a beg. It is a promise. 

It is wonderful and enough for her to unchain her heart and let it do what its been dying to do for years. 

Marinette skips on her place, puts her arms around his neck and takes his lips with hers. 

Adrien lets out what seems to be a mix of a surprised shriek and a satisfied moan.

His hands wrap around her back and he pulls her close as his lips devour hers with requited passion. 

All the kept emotions are unleashed, and neither of them holds back. 

They’ve been denying each other for far too long.

Another sound comes out of Adrien’s mouth. 

Yes, definitely a moan. 

Marinette feels herself burn. Her hands dig into his hair, and she pushes.

It’s not surprising that they fall to the floor. 

Adrien takes the hit for her. She wants to apologize but he doesn’t let her, he keeps kissing and kissing, and touching and moaning and it’s oh so glorious that she easily forgets that they’re on the floor. 

Her legs are at each side of his lip, her hands roam across his body, just like his hands do under her shirt. 

Marinette only separated from him to take a gasp of air when needed. Sadly those are more times than she wishes they were since they’re both crying. 

But soon tears turn into laughter and the soft explorative touches change into more rapid and sinful ones. 

And they’re not on the floor but walking to the bedroom. 

Marinette forgets about the boundaries and lets herself lose her senses and only think about him, him, him. The love of her life who happens to love her just as much as she does. 

They enjoy every second as it is their last. 

Because even if they’re not thinking about warnings and curses right now, at the back of their minds they know this kiss is their doom.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they kissed!  
> oh my, i wonder if they'll find a cure? (⊙ヮ⊙)
> 
>  
> 
> your comments always make my day i'm sorry if i don't have the time/energy to answer them! but i swear i read them all and they make me the happiest
> 
> have a nice day/night !!! 
> 
> buginettez.tumblr.com


	8. hold me hard and mellow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some fluff for your soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: buginettez.

Marinette’s stomach growls. 

Adrien can’t help but laugh at her as he presses one kiss on her lips. 

“I knew you were hungry,” He giggles, “When will you learn? You _can't_ fool me, my lady”

“I’ve fooled you for years,” She says, pulling him back to her lips. 

Adrien gives her a small peck and starts talking, without leaning back. His lips brush against her in a tempting manner as he speaks.  
“Love doesn’t count, I’m oblivious to that, but I know your moods and routine perfectly, I knew you were hungry even if you denied it,”

“Nonetheless, you still kept kissing me,”  
“I just can’t get enough of it,” He says, softly biting her lower lip and making her laugh. 

She couldn’t blame him either, she didn’t want his lips away from hers. Food was a second, even third priority if she put it on a balance. His kisses, his proximity, all of him, were top priority now. 

And his touch. Oh, his touch was lethal, no wonder he used to have the power of destruction on his hands, one slow brush of his fingertips against her skin and she came undone. 

Marinette crosses her arms around his torso and rolls them on the bed, to stay on top and be able to pepper, his face, neck, and chest with kisses. 

His laugh chimes like bells, echoing through the room. 

The sun is starting to get in, warming up their little space, making dusty spots appear in the air, it makes all look more like a dream than it already feels. 

Adrien’s hands find the base of her neck and he keeps her close and yet so far from his lips. His free hand makes his way down her stomach, traveling in swirls and then end ups on the lowest part of her back to reach and squeeze her butt. 

“Hey!” She says, half angry, trying to hide her giggle.

“Oh, please, _now_ you’re a prude,” He narrows his eyes. 

Marinette opens her mouth aghast, she takes one pillow and puts it over his head.

“My lady!” He shouts trying to push the pillow back, but she has it secure.

It turns into a battle. 

Pillows fly, sheets tangle, they roll in bed and hit softly one another, until Adrien manages to be on top again and attacks her with tickles. 

Marinette laughs so loud and uncontrollably that tears start to stream down her face. 

“Stop, stop, I’m begging for mercy here,” Marinette shouts between giggles and tears.

Adrien stops his tickling, but not his attack. 

He starts to kiss her all over her skin, biting and blowing to make her shiver, he plays with her hair and pokes her stomach and cheeks. 

He only stops when Marinette starts to wheeze and pushes him away with her feet. 

Adrien begins to hum a song of victory as he goes back to his place, right next to her. Marinette wraps her arms and legs around him and again, they’re kissing. 

It has become her mission to never stop. 

Sadly, as always, something interrupts. 

A phone rings. Adrien’s.

“One sec,” Adrien mutters on her lips. Reaching to the nightstand to catch his phone.

He can’t find it and is pulling Marinette close to the edge of the bed as he tries to catch it.

“You won’t-”

“I will,” He interrupts and keeps trying. 

Until they both fall off the bed. 

Adrien laughs. She frowns at him. 

“Sorry,” He stands up and helps her on her way back to the bed. 

“You’re lucky we fell on our clothes and pillows,” She says, poking his cheek and pushing it away from her.

Punishment for the fall. No kisses for ten seconds. 

“C’ mon,” He begs, trying to get back to her lips.

The phone rings again. 

Marinette looks at the nightstand and sighs. 

“Answer, it could be important,”

“More important than you?” One brow perks up and Adrien puts his finger under her chin, guiding it to him. 

The phone keeps ringing loudly. 

She sighs and rolls her eyes, “Answer the damn phone,”

“As you wish,” Adrien grins, but she can see he is a little frustrated. 

Nonetheless, his expression changes almost immediately once he looks at his screen. 

“Hey there, my Luce,” A goofy smile appears on his lips as he says that. 

Marinette’s stomach twists in knots. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have answered the call. 

Adrien looks radiant as he speaks. 

She thinks he is going to leave the room, but no, he is back on the bed. 

“I’m still with Marinette,” He says, he leans back to her and lays half on top her. He nuzzles his cheek against her belly, and then he looks up. Their sights meet, “Lucy says hi,” 

Marinette has no idea how to answer. She knows the truth now but it is so awkward. His greeting was as chummy as always, and that hurts, even if she knows he is not in love. 

“Marinette says hi too,” Adrien lies and presses one kiss next to her belly button, “Uh, I think I’ll spend tonight here too, or do you want me for dinner?” Adrien laughs, “I wouldn’t mind, but I don’t think Nette will feel comfortable,” 

Marinette narrows her eyes and just by that demands an answer. Adrien waves his hand and tells her not to worry.

“Yes, I am, Luce, so incredibly happy.” Adrien pulls the goofiest yet softest smile Marinette has ever seen on him, “Don’t worry. My lady loves me, there’s nothing in the world that could go wrong now.”

She feels a smile pop on her lips and bites it so it won’t become a grin. Not giving him any chances to give him material to tease her. 

Marinette plays with his hair as he keeps talking with Lucy, now a little bit more relaxed.

It is good that Lucy knows. Even after knowing that they weren’t actually in love, it still felt bad that they were together without her knowing. 

Marinette couldn’t tell if it was cheating or not, the line was too thin and blurry. Finding out that she knew about their relationship and still kept talking to Adrien like always, lifted a heavyweight out of Marinette’s shoulders. 

The call ends a few minutes later and Adrien throws his phone at the other side of the room. 

Marinette gasps offended when the loud sound of the phone hitting the wooden floor echoes through the room. 

Adrien just laughs. That’s the only thing he’s been doing since last night. 

He turns on the bed, and now he is lying on his stomach, still on top of her. 

Without warning, Adrien softly nibbles on her love handles. Marinette flinches on her spot and lets out something close to a shriek.  

Adrien laughs, again, and keeps his antics. 

His hands go up and down her legs and waist and he gave her a mischevious look. 

“So, what do you wanna do, princess?” He wiggles his eyebrows. 

Marinette giggles and feels the flush run all over her body.

“Actually,” She says gaining composure again, looking somewhere else because if she keeps her eyes on him she is going to fall into temptation, “I really wanted to talk,”

“Then let’s talk,” He nods and the naughty-boy look on his eyes disappears. He turns all serious. 

“How did she know you were here?” Marinette doesn’t miss a beat.

Adrien looks startled but recovers his calmness quite quickly. 

“I texted her last night,” Adrien answers, “She was worried about me because I disappeared and she had no idea where I was,”

“Did you tell her about, uh, us?”

“Yes. She asked for details, I gave her details,”

Marinette bends her knees and brings them close to her chest. She keeps the sheets around her, suddenly feeling shy around him. 

“Hey…. I’m sorry,”

“For what?” She asks, a little though, not proving that he doesn’t need to say sorry. 

“I am… not sure? Whatever bothered you about my interaction with Lucy. I know this must be terribly awkward for you,” Marinette rolls her eyes, Adrien takes her hand, “Believe me, I do. Lucy just offered to have us for dinner, I rejected her invitation because I don’t think you would be comfortable,”

“You make me sound like a villain,” Marinette blows a raspberry. 

“No, no, no,” He shakes his head, “I just imagined how hard it must have been to watch me with someone else. You never dated anyone, it was easier for me. I never saw you with any other man. I don’t know how I would have reacted if I had seen someone propose to you… I must have hurt you so badly,”

“Yeah,” She admits. 

“And for that, I will be forever sorry. I’ll try my best to change my relationship with Luce. It is a promise,”

“Adrien,” Marinette sighs, and pushes back his bangs, “I don’t want you to change how you treat Lucy. You obviously care about her a whole lot, and it is reciprocated. Do not change it for me, just… tone it down a tiny bit meanwhile I adjust to this. It is still hard to believe you’ve been in love with me and not her these couple of years,”

“Will do, my lady,”  “Is that it or there’s something else bothering you?”

“I have some questions…”  
_“Shoot,_ ” He does a motion of finger guns that makes her smile tenderly. 

“How did your relationship with Lucy started? Better said, how did it turn into this?”

“I don’t really recall the details but… I was drunk, she was drunk and we just talked. We both admitted to being attracted to each other, to genuinely care for one and other but that we were faking our feelings. Lucy told me about Elliot, I told her about you and--”  
“Wa-a-a-it,” Marinette moves her hands in front of him, she pushes her arms back and lifts her body putting her weight on her elbows. “Elliot as in our beloved bartender and Luka’s manager _Elliot_?”

“Uh, yeah,” Adrien nods.

Marinette gasps. 

The pieces join together.

“It makes so much sense now. Those glances, the strange tense vibes around them,” Marinette turns her head to Adrien, still aghast. Her nose bumps with his and he steals a kiss. 

“Yeah, I can tell you more about it later,” Another way for him to say, _can I go on?_

“Okay, now keep going,”  
He nods and does just as she said, “We laid all our cards on the table, we left nothing behind -I mean, besides the obvious, I didn’t tell her we used to be superheroes- and well… No one had ever understood me as much as she did, and she felt the same way. We decided to stay together and try, see where things could go. There were no lies, we could be as honest as we wanted to. She could imagine Elliot and I could imagine you and no one would get angry... 

“But that’s so…

“ _Fucked up?_ Yes, it is, but we were hurt and we found solace for the first time… it was better than other things,”

“This is so bizarre, minou,” Marinette whines and she crawls her body to be lower to be more covered by the sheets.

“Why?”

_How could he ask that? How could he not see it?_

She would let it slide, maybe he would come to his senses later. She would use this opportunity for another question. 

“Lucy is really really nice, but sometimes… sometimes she would give me these looks that could turn my heart into ice. I really think she secretly hates me.”

“No, not at all! She… I think if she gave you those looks is because Lucy was a firm believer that you felt something for me too and she wanted you to act on it,”  
“How could she know?”

“I don’t know, she said you were as obvious as I was. Sometimes I thought I saw it too but you sent so many mixed signals that it was impossible to be sure. Me, I was an open book, and you never figured out.”  
“You weren’t obvious! I know you, I would have noticed!”

Adrien huffs, “You didn’t notice because you didn’t want to. It was obvious for everyone but you.” He brushes her bangs away of her eyes, then he perks up.

“I can say the same about you! I ran out of your wedding and you still didn’t puzzle it together!”

“Hey, that’s not true! I totally believed that was why you ran,”

“Did you? _Really?_ ” 

“Yes, of course. Marinette you left everything behind, without explanation, my crazy brain could only think of movies at that moment. The hopeless romantic in me could not think of any other possibility! My mind only considered other options when I saw you were hurt,” 

“Alya said you just vanished, that Nino tried to catch you but you ran as fast as the wind,”

“I mean, sort of. I told Lucy first. She got angry, not because I wasn’t marrying her but for the humiliation that it meant to be left at the altar and the backlash I could get. However, she said she would do the same if Elliot disappeared from her wedding, she told me I had to catch you so I just ran.”

“I’m sorry,” 

“Don’t be… it’s past now. I admit that I’ve never been as angry was when you said you were jealous because it could ruin our _friendship_. I felt like an idiot, there I was ready to confess my love, ready to finally have you and you still wanted to be friends,”

“I understand, it was pretty awful of me,”

“Yes, it was,”  
“And I’ll apologize to Lucy, I promise,”  
“Why?”

“Ruining her wedding,” _Wasn’t it obvious?_

Adrien laughs, “Actually…” He says with a very distinctive and amused tone. 

“Actually?” She sits again and looks at him with fire in her eyes. 

_What is he about to say?_

“She is sort of… grateful? yeah, that’s the word,”

“That I ruined her wedding? How could anyone be grateful for that?” Marinette says aghast. 

“That she could use you as an excuse,”

Marinette swears that if it was humanly possible, her eyes would have popped out of her eyeballs by the effect of sheer astonishment. 

“Say what?” Marinette shrieks. 

Adrien laughs. 

Is not as adorable anymore. This is serious!

Marinette pouts. 

She places her hand on his forehead and pushes him away. 

Adrien whines and takes her arm by her wrist, pulling her closer and keeping that stupid smile on his face. 

“When I went to tell Lucy that I was going for you, she wasn’t wearing her dress. She was on a corner of the room, freaking out and holding to her phone waiting for Elliot to call or break in,” Marinette’s mouth falls open. “She was a mess of emotions, and got angry and then cried but… we talked a few days after it and she was really happy because she might have left me on the altar. She wasn’t sure if she could have gone through it,”

Marinette keeps quiet, letting the information settle in her brain as much as in her heart. 

Adrien’s hands land on hers and he approaches her slowly. He ducks and kisses her knuckles.  

“She never wore your dress, Marinette,” He says in a whisper as if it is a secret. 

Marinette wants to say that it doesn’t change anything, that the dress is still tainted, that it has become a nightmare, but she can’t because the relief that crosses her heart is stronger than any other emotion she might feel at the moment. 

The dress that had become a symbol for her broken heart, had never been used for it. It remained as a hurtful masterpiece, but it wasn’t actually stained. 

It still belonged to her. Somehow. 

It’s enough for her to break into tears. 

“Oh,” It’s the only thing she hears Adrien says before he has his arms around her body. 

He pulls her to him. One hand stays on the back of her head, rubbing softly and he whispers endearing words on her ear. 

As she cries, a question storms out on her mind. 

“Adrien,” She mumbles.

“Princess,”

“Why didn’t you want Lucy to have that dress? The truth, not the lie you fed me last time I ask,”

Adrien lets out a deep sigh. 

“Isn’t it obvious by now, my love? I would have seen you… I would have probably said your name and I didn’t want to humiliate Lucy. That was your dream dress and I… I thought _you_ would be wearing it the day of _our_ wedding.”

Between the tears, Marinette finds joy and laughs. 

“I love you,” 

“I love you too, more than anything I’ve ever loved,” 

Just like that, they’re kissing again. 

Marinette still can’t believe how easy it is to have his mouth on hers and just lose the sense of time. 

Tender kisses lead to passion and Adrien shifts into this version of himself that she can’t believe exist, there’s something so dark and yet so intriguing in his eyes. They’re filled with desire and they make the teasing smile on his lips change its usual vibe. 

Adrien puts his weight on one of his elbows to lower himself, to be closer to her. With the other hand, he brushes her tight and pulls it aside, opening her legs.

Marinette winces at the movement.  

“You said it didn’t hurt,” Adrien frowns and backs away.

“It doesn’t,” Marinette puts her hands around his neck, to bring him back, “It’s… uncomfortable but not painful,”

Adrien doesn’t seem convinced. 

“Really, I would tell you otherwise,”

“Okay, I believe you,” He sighs and looks like a kicked puppy, “I promise you it’ll be better next time,”

“I already told you it was good, Adrien. I loved being with you, it felt strange, that’s it… I didn’t imagine it would feel like that, really.”

Adrien chuckles. She laughs with him only seconds later. 

“I loved being with you too, but next time it’ll be incredible, not just good or strange, it’s a promise.” 

She laughs, he is exaggerating but it’s nice to know he worries so much

Another nice thing was the ‘next time’ part. 

There was going to be a ‘next time’. 

Being intimate with Adrien was something she never considered to be a possibility and now it was something tangible, it had happened. 

_There was going to be a 'next time'!_

“Why are you giggling?” He asks amused. 

“Was I?” She says and can’t help but giggle again.  
“Yes,”

“Oh, it’s dumb,” Marinette hides behind her hands.  
“I wanna know,” He says. His nose makes a trail down her neck and then he nibbles the skin on the base of her neck. He takes her hands and pulls them away from her face. 

“You said next time,” She explains, “It makes me happy to think there’s gonna be a 'next time'. I’ve denied myself of you for so long. This is a dream,”

He gives her an amused, yet soft smile. 

“A dream indeed,” He nods, “And you know what? There’s not only gonna be a 'next time', but there’s also gonna be a 'next time' after that, and another, and another, and another until the end of times,”

Oh, that sounded lovely.

Reality crashed into her. 

 _“If_ we figure out,” 

“Nette, we won’t go crazy. We’ll take all the precautions, we’ll read all the books, we’ll find an answer. Magic has nothing on us,”

“I like that optimism, it is what we wi-” Marinette’s stomach growls again. 

She turns red as Adrien snorts and shakes his head from side to side. 

“Alright that’s it,” He puts his hands up, in defeat, “I’m going for food. Stay here, I promise I’ll be as fast as I can,”

Jumping out of the bed, he kneels and takes his clothes, dressing faster than any mortal should. 

“Any solicitudes?”

“Savoury and sweet food, bring options!” She orders.

He nods and makes an air check with his finger.

“Won’t be long, my lady,” Adrien puts his hands on his hips before running at the other side of the room. 

He waves and sends her a kiss from here he stands and crosses the door still running. Not seconds after, she hears his footsteps going away and suddenly they’re coming back, faster this time. 

Adrien jumps to the bed and crawls back to her, catching her lips so fast that Marinette has no moment to realize what’s happening. 

“Okay, now I can go,” He says, giving a final peck. 

Maybe she can allow herself to believe. 

And she did believe because nothing was going wrong. 

Everything was utterly perfect. 

 _Until it wasn’t_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ha ha ha  
> did you really believe i was going to give you full fluff without bringing THE CURSE  
> how naive  
> no tbh that's on me, im the bad one here
> 
> the happy ending still stands, i promise xx


	9. i guess i flew too close to the sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A curse was promised, a curse they shall receive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D

Her head pumps as if someone is hammering her brain. 

There are stars on her vision, blurry spots flowing all around. It is like she is dreaming above the clouds. 

The last thing she remembers is going to the kitchen to cook some dinner for Adrien and her. He was tired and annoyed because of something that had happened at work and she wanted to cheer him up. 

 _What was the last thing she did?_ She wonders as she starts to focus her sight and finally can see the roof.

Her senses adjust to waking up and but her memories are still a mess. Memories float around but they’re like butterflies on the edge of spring, they don’t fly too close from the ground, they only look from above. She can’t reach for them. 

Marinette squinting her eyes tries to call something that will lead her to a clue. 

The last thing she sees is her chopping a chocolate bar for a cake she decided to make. 

She puts her hands up to grasp her hair, but when she does something pierces through her skin.  

She doesn’t get the time to feel the pain because someone coughs and whimpers are louder and more filled with pain than she is at the moment. 

Mostly, her attention is drawn to the other side of the room because it can’t be anyone but Adrien. 

It is then when her vision stabilizes when her throat closes and the world around her turns grey as reality is in these kinds of moments. Nightmares have nothing on them. 

When she moves again she can make something about what’s around her. 

Blood and shattered glass are all over her. 

She can identify what has been shattered as the coffee table of the living room. 

Marinette puts her hands on the ground and pulls herself up with the strength she is able to pull off. She is too tired and leans on the wall before start walking. 

She is dizzy and her whole body hurts, but she must forget the pain and move. 

A few seconds pass of her taking slow breaths to pull herself together, and then the blurry vignettes on her eyes start to disappear.

Then, she sees him. 

Adrien is on the ground, also leaning against a wall, his neck and face are red, he keeps coughing, and… _no._  

“Adrien!” She shrieks. 

Marinette throws herself at the center of the room, moving as fast as her body allows her until she reaches Adrien. 

She falls on her knees in front of him, the hardwood makes a loud sound and she can feel the bruises that will appear later, but it doesn’t matter. 

Adrien coughs and reaches for her face, fingertips slowly stroking her face and smiles at her. 

Marinette muffles her scream with her hands, tears starting to fall when she sees his chest. 

“Shh is okay,” He says. 

But how can he lie so bluntly? 

“No, no, no, it’s not okay!” She cries, hands shaking and moving near him. 

Drops of blood run down his blue shirt, right under the tears of the tattered piece of clothing. 

Marinette looks up and watches the kitchen knife buried in the wall. There’s blood there too. 

“It is, I’m fine. Are _you_ okay? You’re full of glass cuts,” He brushes her hair away from her shoulders and touches down her neck. 

“Adrien…”  
“I threw you across the room… you’re bleeding… I… I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I did this,” He begins to explain, but she can’t take this.  
“No! Stop, please don’t feel guilty about defending yourself,” She sobs.

Because that must be what happened because she had that knife and Adrien is hurt and… no, no, no, no, no. 

“But it is _my_ fault,” Adrien says and then winces when Marinette softly touches his chest. 

“That’s not true,” Marinette cups his cheeks, she needs to touch him, to hold him somehow, “This is all me, I had that knife and I… I attacked you, I’m starting to remember,” She whimpers. 

The voices that slowly sang on her ears come back to her in her memories. 

The wicked cries that ordered her to end with the dark energy that was overwhelming hers, that was overthrowing her own, making her weaker, making her lose her essence. 

They weren’t always there, but lately, they came with more frequency than they initially did. 

She had tried to ignore it, but here they are… this is the result of not taking it as seriously as it is. 

“Marinette… I… It is still my fault.”

“No, just stop saying that!” Marinette put her hands on fists and retracted back to her, “I heard the voices again! I should have warned you!”

“You couldn’t have known, and I won’t stop saying that it is my fault because it is. None of this would be happening if I hadn’t pushed you to be with me”

“Wha--

“You kept us safe for ten years and I ruined it all just because I wanted you… because I was selfish and I didn’t care about anything but having you in my arms,” A tear rolls down his cheek as he speaks, “You’re always right, I should not have convinced you to be with me. I should have listened to you, take it seriously.”

“We both chose this,” She says back. 

Adrien never forced her to be with him. Yes, he did convince her to stop worrying, but if she really hadn’t wanted this, she would have never accepted to be in a relationship with him.  

“I made you choose this,”

“No, you didn’t. I love you, I wanted to be with you, I _want_ to be with you,” She whimpers.

Marinette starts to unbutton his shirt, to see how hurt he really is. 

“C’mon, we’ll discuss this later,” She says, putting her arm under his, to help him stand up. 

Adrien doesn’t help, frowning at her.

“You’re hurt too,” He says between clenched teeth, “Let me stand up on my own, I don’t want to make your pain any worse.”

Marinette doesn’t say anything back, his look is lethal. 

She doesn’t help him stand, nonetheless, she waits for him and walks with him, one slow step at a time until they make it to their bedroom. 

**xx**

Marinette finishes cleaning his wounds and putting bandages on top of them and leaves a kiss on top of his heart. 

“All done, kitty.”

Adrien doesn’t answer, his sight is lost in the window view and his face is expressionless. 

“I’m gonna take a few pain killers, I know you hate to take medicine, but I seriously think you need to take a few right now,” She looks all the bandages on his chest and gulps, “I… I hurt you really badly this time.”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s _not_ nothing!” Marinette said frustrated, “Stop trying to make me feel okay. I know what I did.”

“It’s not worse than what I did to you last week!” Adrien shouts and jumps out of the bed, walking to the window, “You’re still covered in the most horrible bruises, Marinette, and now I’ve only made it worse by pushing you into the coffee table,” A sob escapes his lips.

Marinette shakes her head and runs to him, wrapping her arms around him. 

“You were defending yourself,” She whispers, kissing his back. 

“Still. I… I can’t do this anymore, princess. I can’t keep hurting you and, and, it’s… it’s getting worse. Your voices, my hallucinations… they are worse every damn time.” 

“I know,” Marinette quivers, “We… we need to read more, I think I found a book and--

“No,” Adrien cut her and walked away from her, to the other side of the room.

It hurt more than the actual wounds on her body. 

“Adrien, we’ll figure it out.”  
“We’ve been saying that for half a year! We’re nowhere but close to finding a solution, and I’m not gonna keep lying to myself that there is when I could kill you at any given minute,” Adrien’s voice breaks, “It was incredibly dumb of me to ask you to do this. I was naïve, but not anymore.”  
“What do you mean?” Marinette takes frightened steps in his direction. 

“I’m leaving.”

Everything inside her breaks. 

“No!” She runs at him, pulling him away from the closet, “No, you can’t leave.”

“It’s the only way, Marinette.” 

“No there must be another way,” She says “It is the energy, right? It is too much for us to handle, we need to find a way to let it go, that’s what our bodies are telling us right, so we need to find a way to push that energy in--”

“Marinette,” He interrupts.  He throws his head back and bites his lower lip. “We’ve tried everything, we’ve read all the books. I love you so much, so fucking much, and I want to be with you but after all that happened to us I… we can’t, love,” Adrien touches her cheek and flutters his arm, to get free of her grasp. 

She can't let him go.

She needs to find a way to make him stay. She can't go back to what it was before, she won't survive. 

In her mind, a cold whisper overcomes the dark voice that always haunts her. A crazy idea that has been roaming in the back of her mind. An idea that she is too scared to say because… because is selfish and against everything, they once fought for. 

“We haven’t tried everything!” Marinette shouts, putting herself in front of the doors of the closet, and facing him directly. 

Adrien lifts a brow, he is skeptical. 

Marinette puts her hands on her waist and stands still, challenging his gaze. 

“You have an idea,” He says, eyes shining with wonder.  

“Of course I do,” She huffs and flickers her hair, but the movement doesn’t generate anything in Adrien. 

He looks at her expectant but with furrowed eyebrows.  

“Do tell then,” He says. 

“We never thought of using the energy itself!” She puts her arms up and smiles, trying to make it sound like the best idea she could have ever come up with. 

“What?”

“To use the miraculous. We can ask for a wish, we can ask for the energy to let go of--”

“No,” He cuts her in a dead tone. 

She jolts away, taken back by his reaction. 

“Adrien.”  
“No,” He shakes his head and pulls his hair with his hands, “You know we must give something in return for the wish to work. We don’t know what we could lose. We could lose each other and it would all be for nothing.”  
“But,” She tries to say but he glares at her again, making it impossible to talk. 

“I said no,” He hisses. He has never been so cold towards her, “It’s too dangerous and I know you know this, I know you can see how horribly this could go. Please, Marinette, listen to what you’re saying and give it a moment, you’ll see that-”

“What else can you think of? I don’t know what to do!” She whines, “I love you!”

Adrien’s body releases tension and he approaches her, a small smile on his face as he leans to kiss her lips in a short, yet sweet, kiss. 

“I love you too,” He takes her hands between his, “I love you more than anything, and that’s why I can’t lose you. I’m leaving.”  
“No, no, no, no, please, no. Please, Adrien,” She begs, knees weakening as he gently pushes her away of the closet doors.  

“I don’t want this either, Marinette! But I don’t see another way out,” He says and breaks in tears.

Marinette cries too and throws herself at him in a hug. 

She hears his sharp breathing and remembers the wounds, but when she tries to pull away, he keeps her there, pressed tight against him. 

Adrien’s lips find hers quickly and brush against her in perfect symphony. As great as it is to kiss him, as wonderful as it makes her feel inside, her heart breaks every time his mouth presses against her, every breathe she steals from him brings her closer to saying goodbye. 

The kiss ends too soon for her liking. 

Adrien rubs his thumb against her cheek and gifts her a sad smile.

“Let’s keep each other safe until we can come up with something,”

“How long is that going to be?” Marinette mumbles. 

“I don’t know,” Adrien chirps his teeth.  
“It could be forever,” She doesn’t like to think that way, but it’s true, they might never find a way back to each other.   
“If you’re safe, I’ll be happy loving you from a distance,” Adrien admits, and she winces at this, “I promised you I was not going to let anything happen to us. Look at me, look at you. I’ve failed.”

“You did not,” Marinette shakes her head and tries to keep herself from crying, “This is just a rough patch, we’ll figure it out! You can’t stop looking. Promise you won’t stop looking!”

“I promise,” He says, but it sounds empty. 

Marinette doesn’t answer, she only kisses him one more time and then walks back to bed, to wrap herself in blankets and hide from the exterior world. 

Adrien doesn’t follow her.

The closet door creaks and she hears him pull clothes. 

A knot forms in her throat and tears prickle in her eyes again.   

Only a month ago they had been talking about marriage. 

That was nothing but a pipe dream now. 

It doesn’t take long for him to have it all in a bag and come to kiss her for the last time. 

This time, she makes the kiss last. She makes him touch her like nothing is wrong like he is not afraid of touching all the purplish spots on her body. 

Marinette takes and takes, and gives, gives, gives, every single part of her. 

If it was for her, she would have never stopped, but Adrien takes control and pulls away before love can consume him. 

He puts himself together quickly and leaves her in bed. 

A shadow crosses his eyes before he speaks. 

“I’ll love you forever,” Adrien says, kissing her forehead before walking away. 

Before leaving her alone in the dark. 

But the dark and the cold are not the worst part of her sleepless night. Neither is the lack of his rhythmic breath beside her, his hot body wrapped around her, and the soft kisses on her neck. 

It’s the lack of anger in the voice that rings in her mind. 

It’s the harmonious playing to match the singing. 

It’s the relief she feels because he is finally gone. 

Marinette cries the whole night. 

It’s worse than when she thought he didn't love her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh well, as much as i love these two and i was as happy as you guys were, i just couldn't forget about the curse, i mean what kind of writer would i turn to be if i just let it slide? 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> while i wrote bits of the next, i realized that maybe (just maybe) i will add another chapter to this thingy, but we shall see
> 
> hope you have a nice day, and if this was way too angsty for you, i've recently posted 2 new fics and they're fluffy!! like really no agnst in them!! yall need to give me an award for that lol
> 
> whatever  
> find me on tumblr: buginettez.


	10. i can't this time cause it's gonna defeat me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year without love.

Looking at the calendar she can’t help but sigh. 

It’s been a year. 

Twelve horrible months.

They have been apart more than they were together, and she still can’t find a solution to their problem. 

If she dares to look to the sunny side, she hasn’t heard the malignant voices in a while. There’re still echoes of it every now and then but nothing like the evil vibrancy that guided her to kill the love of her life. 

She hugs herself and wraps herself with a blanket. It’s warm outside and there’s no need for it, but it was Adrien’s favorite and she uses it to replace his hugs. It’s not the same, it will never be the same, but it helps. 

The alarm of her phone rings, reminding her that it’s time to go back to pretend to be a functional human being, instead of the tangled mess she has become. 

It is not like Marinette has stopped living her life, she hasn’t. She does what she used to do, and enjoys what she always has, her business is doing well and she can have fun with her friends. But behind all of that, Adrien is always there. She misses him every second, and it makes her not enjoy things to the fullest. 

She misses him when she wakes up as well as when she is asleep, only that when she is dreaming is more bearable because she dreams beautiful moments with him, sometimes they’re memories, others they’re things she wishes had happened. In her dreams, they’re safe and together. It is what makes waking up so hard.

They didn’t break up because they stopped loving each other or because their relationship didn’t work, it was because of a curse. A curse none of them ever asked for. 

She can pretend she is okay, that she is not completely shattered in the inside but she can’t put a front all the time. With some people, she is better at pretending than with others. And some days are easier than others. 

Today it is a really difficult day and she is meeting Alya, who has listened to her wail about Adrien for as long as she has been missing him. 

Marinette goes out of her apartment in a light summer dress and carries a small crossed bag with all her belongings, and she plays with the cat plushy hanging from it. Adrien bought it for her a month before he left. They had been together at a fair and she had been eyeing it for a while, when they got home Adrien surprised her with it. 

She has things like these all over. Jewelry and bags with pins and chains, pieces of clothing. Anything that can make her feel that he is there with her. 

Marinette walks under the bright warm sun and hums a sweet melody Adrien used to sing to her whenever she couldn’t fall asleep. 

The restaurant they’re meeting is only three metro stations away and when she arrives she feels herself getting smaller and smaller. She doesn’t know how long she’ll be able to keep herself together before falling apart in front of Alya. 

She is her best friend and she has been there for here at every step of the horrible path she has been crossing, nonetheless, a feeling of guilt creeps on the back of her mind every time she brings sorrow with her. It’s not Alya’s fault that she is cursed, it’s not fair that she has to see Marinette fall down every single time. 

Before entering the restaurant she takes a deep breath and prepares herself to have a good time. 

She opens the door and quickly finds Alya in one of the tables close to the window. 

Alya waves at her with a smile. Marinette tries to copy the smile as perfectly as she can. 

“Oh, M, that dress is beautiful!” Alya says, greeting her with a tight hug, “Is it from the collection you’ve been working?”   
“Yes,” Marinette nods, “I think I will add them for the next summer collection and I will do a winter version of it.”   
“It’s gorgeous,” Alya says and that’s how they keep talking about clothes and business and later on Alya’s job.

Marinette is delighted with this. It’s personal but not too personal, which makes the conversation light and easy to follow without having to put too much attention into it, so her mind can wander and wail about her forgotten love without Alya knowing.

Things start to go south after they order food and Alya begins to tell her about her plans to go on vacation with Nino, and how she thinks this is his way of distracting her before he proposes. 

Marinette agrees with a nod and listens to Alya’s theory but her mind can’t help but go back to the night when Adrien and she were discussing marriage too. Adrien hadn’t proposed or anything, but she is sure he had wanted to do so as they spoke about how their ideal wedding would be. 

Alya says that Nino has been strange and mysterious for a while and Marinette really wants to stay on topic, but it’s humanly impossible. 

“Have you seen Adrien?” She asks, completely interrupting what her friend is saying. 

Alay frowns. 

It is clear that her anger is real. 

“ _ No _ , I haven’t.”   
“For real or are you lying?” Marinette inquires. Because she knows Alya could be saying that to keep talking about what she was or because she doesn’t want Marinette to know that she has talked to him.  

“What does it matter? We weren’t talking about him.”

“It matters because I want to know,” Marinette whines, and then adds something she considers important for Alya to know, “He left a year ago and I haven’t seen him or talked to him since then.”

“I know that, Marinette. I know it and it’s why it makes me irk that you keep bringing him up,” Alya clenches her teeth, “I would like to tell you that if you want to know so bad you should go look for him, but honestly, I’m rather happy that you two aren’t together anymore.”   
“What?! How can you say that?!” Marinette springs from her seat, her hands hit the table and she basically growls at Alya.

It is  _ her _ turn to be angry. 

Alya doesn’t lose her cool. “Uh, very easily actually. You two are better apart. I mean you’re both whine a lot but it’s better than whatever what’s happening before.”   
“What do you mean?”    
“I don’t know what you two were doing, I don’t know what was going on with your relationship and I know you think you love him.”  _ Think? _

“ _ I love him _ ,” Marinette says harshly.

“Okay, I know but,” Alya sighs, “This is going to sound awful to you but I’m happy that you guys aren’t together anymore. Wait, don’t put that face, let me explain.”

“Please do,” Marinette challenges her.

It makes her burn that her best friend can treat her relationship with Adrien this way. How she can talk about it with so much poison impregnated to her words. 

“I don’t know what else to say, but that you two weren’t good for each other--

“We were perfect,” She interrupts harshly. 

“You broke up,” Alya reminds her. 

The words blaze her heart. It hurts. 

“You don’t understand,” She mumbles but she goes unheard. 

“It was like you two were losing your mind,” She isn’t wrong on that, “You were both covered in bruises, there were scratches all over you -and  _ not _ the fun kind- Adrien had a bloodshot eye and bruises all around it for like a month.”   
“You don’t understand,” She wailed, this time louder, making a few heads turn into her direction.

“Obviously I don’t because  _ you _ don’t!” Alya shouted, “You’re better without each other and I hope you two never get back together and if you ever do, you better know that the first thing I’m doing is taking you to a psychiatrist because there must be a way to explain why your hormones mess up your brain so badly!”

Marinette huffed, “A psychiatrist? That would never--

She stops. 

Alya’s words echo in her mind, ‘ _ there must be a way to explain why your hormones mess up your brain’.  _

Something in her gut kicks, something in her brain lights up. 

_ A psychiatrist. _

A  _ human _ solution for people with mental problems like  _ hearing voices and hallucinating _ .  

_ What if that is it? _

They have been looking for a solution to the magic but she has never considered that what’s wrong is not the magic, but the way their bodies, their  _ brains _ , react to it. 

“Marinette?” Alya touches her hand.

“You’re a genius,” Marinette gasps. 

A smile splashes on her face. 

“I’m not gonna argue with that, but why am I genius? Why are you smiling so brightly? What did I say?”

Marinette picks up her bag and keys, she puts a few euros on the table and takes one last bite of her lasagna. 

“I’ll call you later!” She says, leaving a kiss on Alya’s cheek before running to the door and into the street.

She doesn’t look back to Alya calling her name. There’s no time for that. 

Her brain is working at light speed and she needs to share her plan quickly.

As she runs she is trying to come with theories of how this could be happening, of why magic hasn’t fixed anything and all of her hypotheses have a solid ground to stay on. 

How did she not think about this before?

It’s such an obvious solution!

Well, she is not sure if it’s going to work, but it’s the first time in a year that she has found a plan that she trust can actually work. 

Marinette only stops running when she is inside the wagons of the metro, but as she moves around the station and the streets she doesn’t let her pace drop. 

And that’s how she makes it to the university building in record time. 

 

**xx**

 

The investigator-team-lounge looks just like it always does. The smell of coffee is impregnated on every corner and piece of furniture there to match with the color of the walls and decoration. It’s really dull, Marinette has never liked it but every time she tried to bring up a renovation Adrien told her that the university would never allow it. Being there again made her think that asking herself would not hurt, nonetheless, those lose thought had no time nor reason to be there inside her head. 

She looks around, trying to catch a glimpse of blonde hair.  

“Marinette?” She hears and turns around, Lucy and a few coworkers she’s met before are looking at her. 

Lucy looks so confused by seeing her here. And Marinette can’t help but understand. She knows Adrien has been living with her because it is one of the few things Adrien communicated to her after leaving. 

She waves quickly and approaches, “Where is he?”   
“His office,” Lucy points out to the last room on the right. 

She’s been here before, she just needed to be sure that he is here. 

“Thank you,” She nods at her and smile before jogging to the other corner of the room.

She doesn’t knock on his door, she just opens it. At this moment she can’t care less about how busy he could be. This is a priority.    
Adrien doesn’t realize she is here. 

He is giving his back to the door, leaning out in the window, an unlit cigarette between his fingers. 

Marinette softly growls.

“I’ve told you many times that cigarettes are bad for you,” She says, announcing her presence.

It is what makes Adrien turn around, and he does it in a jump, startled. 

“ _ Marinette? _ ” He says as she storms through the room. 

“Good evening,  _ mon minou _ ,” She smiles as she makes it to his desk. 

Adrien watches her with wide eyes from the other side. 

She can’t help but feel her heart about to break through her ribcage. 

_ He looks so good _ . 

It looks like he has gained some weight and muscle, he looks healthier yet tired. His wounds are all healed and only scars remain, and they’re bearly visible, which means he followed her instructions and took good care of them. 

It makes her smile. 

He takes a step forward and Marinette meets him halfway, circling the desk. Adrien looks like he just saw a ghost. She must really have surprised him. 

She gasps, the air finding her lungs again. 

“I figured it out,” She says and takes his hands on hers, needing to touch him. 

“What?”

“I figured it out!” She repeats, “We can be together!”

He takes a step back and lets her hands fall. Then he frowns. 

Wounds and scratches are nothing compared to what that look makes her feel.

Her lips quiver.

Adrien doesn’t look excited. He is not smiling, nor jumping ecstatically. 

He looks at her numbly.

_ Oh…  _

Is she the only one still in love? 

Is this why Alya has been keeping every time she sees him a secret? 

It’s been a year, after all, it wouldn’t be surprising if his feeling changed. It could happen, it was a possibility… 

“Unless… you don’t want to… you don’t want to be with me.”

“ _ What?! _ ” He spats, and takes a step forward, “I want to, I want  _ you _ , I _ love  _ you, but we can’t…”

Her heart restarts. 

“I found a  _ solution, _ Adrien,” She repeats. 

“I…” She finally understands when she looks into his eyes. He is afraid. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up. 

“I’m sure this will work,” She whispers. 

“A hundred percent sure?” He asks.

“I… I think… Not a hundred but, ninety percent sure.”

“That’s not enough, Marinette,” Adrien turns around and goes back to the window, leaving her behind. 

Marinette clenches her hands on fists. 

“Can you listen to me before rejecting my idea?”

He looks at her over his shoulder, his eyes glow in an abnormal shade of green, “I can’t hurt you again, Marinette, I’ll lose any remaining gram of sanity. Please go home, princess.”

Marinette crumbles the fabric of her dress and shakes at his words, but doesn’t say what he asks. 

She is staying. She’ll tell him even if he doesn’t want to listen.    
“I hear voices, you see things that are not there…” Marinette whispers, “These are not consequences reserved for magic, these are also things that happen to people with psychological disorders.”

Adrien frowns and pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“We’ve been trying to find a solution that involves magic, what if we try to find a solution that involves just us? It is our bodies that can’t handle it, our  _ human bodies _ , we needed the kwamis to transform, it gave us stability, but now we don’t have it, now we just have the energy… I was thinking that it must be something about us being human, and as I said, hallucinations and hearing voices, those are things that happen to humans! Maybe it’s something biological that is interfering-- no, wait it’s the other way, magic is interfering with something inside our brains,” She gasps, “Alya said that hormones were messing us up, and I don’t think she’s that far from the truth. It happened when we were together when we were fully in love. The chemistry of our brain changes when we’re in love, I’ve heard that before. What if that was clashing with the magic, it was so strong that it drove us insane?”

Adrien is paralyzed on his spot, Marinette is not even sure if he is still breathing. 

She doesn’t know if she explained well what she meant to say, but since the moment Alya said those words her brain has been trying to find a logic of all that has happened to them, and saying it out loud for the first time was complicated. She is just assuming, she doesn’t know much about neuroanatomy or neuropsychology or whatever it’s needed to study to understand what is going on, but she feels in her gut that she is right. That she has figured out. 

A hundred if not more miraculous holders have tried to find a magic solution and they all have failed, it is not crazy to think that the solution is in another place. 

“Adrien,” She calls his name softly, trying to wake him up of his trance. She needs an answer, “What do you think, kitty?”

“ _ It makes sense _ ,” He says under his breath, looking at her as he just discovered a lost city. 

“Alright…” Marinette smiles, feeling more confident now, “Maybe, just maybe, I’m right and there’s a disbalance, there’s a lack of harmony between magic and biology. So, what if...

“What if,” He says, one step closer. Eyes wide open shining with hope. 

“We go to a psychiatrist and a psychologist, and see if they can treat us of--

“You’re a genius!” He interrupts, throwing his hands up. 

Then he approaches, brings her close and then… he kisses her. 

She doesn’t have time to react, she just melts. 

It’s been too long without him. 

He cuts the kiss too short before she can respond to it properly.

“I mean, I always knew you were a genius but, wow,” Adrien nuzzles his nose on top of hers. 

“Well, Alya kind of takes the credit on the idea, if she hadn’t been angry I would have never considered it.”   
“You are still a genius,” He kisses her again.  

She lets a moan escape her lips. Yes, this is the kiss she was waiting for. 

Their teeth clash together because of the enthusiasms but the awkward impasse is quickly forgotten when they finally get into their well-known pace. 

A year might have passed but it feels like they have never been apart. 

Adrien ends up sitting on his desk, and she between his legs. his hands roam up her back, pulling her closer as if it was humanly possible to be more pressed against each other as they already are. 

It doesn’t take long for Adrien to be moaning too and gasping her name and begging for mercy that she does not give, wrapping her arms around him, pushing her leg up and leaning against him to be able to touch him easily. 

Marinette’s hands end up on the button of his shirt, only to be stopped by Adrien’s hands dangerously brushing up her legs. It makes her remember where they are.

“Stop,” She whispers on his lips.

Adrien opens his eyes and loudly gasps, a little frustrated. 

“There are people outside,” Marinette points at the door with a tilt of her head.

“Oh, yeah,” Adrien giggles, “I forgot about that. Next time?” He wiggles her brows at her.

Marinette laughs and gently hits his arm, “Only if there’re no people.”

Adrien grins and takes her hand, intertwining their fingers. 

“So, how are we gonna do this?” He asks, he is vibrating with energy.

“We need to call and ask for--” Marinette gets interrupted, as she expected it. He was way too happy to keep his mouth shut. 

“Forget asking, we’re entering a clinic and I’m dropping as much money as it takes me to make them attend us immediately,” He pulls her from her wrist and starts walking to the door, taking his bag with him.   
“Adrien,” She calls him out for his behavior but a laugh manages to leak from her lips.

“C’mon, let me be a spoiled rich kid just once. This once that matters.”

She shrugs, jumps back to the floor and pulls him by his hand. 

“Do you think they mind if we leave now?” She asks.

Adrien shakes his head, “I might be needed but once they see me with you I think they’re all going to agree that it is best if I do whatever that I’m gonna do with you.”   
Marinette furrows her brows, “What does that mean?”

“Let’s say that I haven’t been the most cheery person to have around all this time away from you.”

“Well that makes two of us,” She says and leans to give him a small kiss.

“Damn, I’ve missed you so much, let’s not ever separate again,” He says and nibbles on her lower lip.   


“If everything goes as planned, we will never have to.”

But Marinette should know by now that plans don't always go exactly as they were thought. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is the last :D how crazyyyy!  
> i hope you enjoyed it! im running short on time but i love yall !!
> 
>  
> 
> find me on tumblr: buginettez


	11. epilogue: all's well that ends well, to end up with you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a sorf of last chapter/epilogue my dears :)

A storm is raging outside since the night before, Marinette watches the drops of water dance on the window, the blurry images in front of her eyes of the trees and the buildings are the only thing that makes her be sure that it’s morning once again. 

She rolls on the bed and ends up on the other side of it. It’s empty and cold.

Thunder breaks through the room and sad images and memories flash in front of her eyes.

Dripping cold and gloomy smoke fill her heart and pump to her veins. The nightmares try to keep a strong strongly into reality. 

Marinette wraps the sheets around her to keep herself warm as she sits down and looks around the room. 

She rubs her eyes and blinks a few times, doing her best to completely get out of the land of dreams that is still glitching, trying to bring her back to bed. 

The room is cold and grey and nothing has changed when she is finally fully awake. 

Her stomach twists in knots and her breath gets caught on her throat. 

She closes her eyes forcefully and focuses on the thought running inside her mind, trying to hear something that doesn’t truly belong to her. 

The whispers are almost nonexistent.

It should be alright.

It should be alright.

It should be alright.

It should be alright.

It should be alright. 

Her heart thumps faster, threatening to rip through her ribcage. 

Marinette reaches for the pillow beside her and hugs it, fingers dig on the soft texture and she tightens her hold, if it was anything else, she would have broken it already. 

“Princess?” It echoes through the room and she opens her eyes. 

She smiles and opens her arms. He is already running to her.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, hand on her back, pulling her closer to him. 

Marinette cups his cheeks and kisses him softly. 

“A nightmare,” She whispers, “A horrible, horrible nightmare, and then you weren’t here and...”

She doesn’t cry, but the bitter feeling is still inside her.    
“Oh, my lady,” He whispers above her ear, “I’m sorry… I couldn’t sleep and go for a glass of water.”

“It’s fine,” She smiles and lies down back in bed. 

Adrien follows her.

He kicks the sheets with her feet and waits for her to wrap herself around him before pulling them back on. 

“Why couldn’t you sleep?” She asks and brushes pieces of his hair away from his face.

“It always happens the first night back,” Adrien explains, “I don’t tend to sleep well in the hotel all alone and yet whenever I’m back I have to pretty much convince myself that I’m back home.”

“Oh,” She pouts and kisses his chest, “Why haven’t you said this before? I should have known this.”

“Because it doesn’t matter,” He shrugs, “Is nothing serious. Also, every time I wake up I find you in my arms and that’s enough to calm me down again.”

“That doesn’t fix the problem at the hotel.”

“No, it doesn’t,” He sighs, “But I bet you feel almost the same, when is your time to leave.”

“Yeah, I do.”

Whenever she left she wouldn’t eat well. 

Her mind would roam aimlessly, trying to get back to him, trying to get back home. But she couldn’t. 

This was part of their life. 

If they wanted to be together, then they had to spend some time away from each other. 

It was never more than three weeks, and as the years passed the times they had to be apart were less. Right now, they only had to spend away from each other three times a year. 

Nonetheless, it was still a huge sacrifice to make. 

They couldn’t contact each other, they couldn’t even frequent the same places they usually did, they had to be as careful as it was possible. 

“How early is it?” Marinette asks. 

“Around eight. Why?”   
“I was thinking that we could pick up our breakfast at the bakery and then go for a stroll.”

“I love the idea,” He smiles, “But are you sure? It is really cold outside.”

She rolls her eyes. It will always warm her heart to know how much he cares about her, and how he does everything to keep her safe, however, sometimes it turned to be a little bit much. 

“It’s going to be fine, I’ll use warm clothes and if I get cold I have my own personal heater,” She wraps her leg around his waist and kisses his neck. 

Adrien giggles. 

“Okay, okay, then we have a plan,” He takes her by her hip and rolls in bed with her, putting himself on top, “Does my wife have any orders before we leave?”

She bites her lip and looks at him for a second. 

Marinette doesn’t know how he does it, but every time he calls her  _ his wife _ he makes her melt.  

“Not at all,” She answers, running her fingers through his hair, “Did you take your medicine already?”

“Yes, my lady.”   
“Good kitty,” She gives him a peck on the lips and then peppers his face with more kisses. 

Adrien laughs, is hoarse, sensual, it sparks something inside her. 

“What’s so funny?” She says, a lopsided smile on her face.

“Just thinking what a lucky kitty I am,” She furrows her eyebrows, “I get kisses when I’m good and I get kisses when I’m bad, I mean last night you wouldn’t stop-” She throws her pillow at him.

Marinette is probably red at the moment. 

He smirks at her. A big laugh echoes on his chest.

“Six years together, my lady, and you still blush for me.”

He presses his body against hers and she wraps herself around him as they kiss deeply. 

“I’m so happy you’re back,” She whispers before losing herself in the kiss. 

Marinette twirls them, and Adrien rolls again. The sheets wrap around them in a tangled mess.

They both laugh as Adrien tries to pull them away and kiss her skin better. 

When he succeeds and looks at her with narrow eyes, the short comedic moment disappears, the atmospheres turns heavy once again. 

Adrien leaves a trail of kisses down her neck and her chest, till he reaches her stomach and bites gently. 

“Can I show you how good of a kitty I can be?”

“I already know how good you are,” she smirks, her hands pull his face up, “But, it’s morning,” She reminds him, even if she is dying to continue with this. 

“You’re right,” His shoulders drop and he stands out of the bed. 

Adrien kneels down and picks up pieces of clothing. He throws the pink pile to her. 

Marinette catches it and starts to put on her pajamas. Then she picks her phone off the nightstand and looks at the time. 

Adrien is close to the door and takes off the lock, coming back in a bounce back to bed with her.

“Ten minutes or less,” Marinette tells him and rests her head on his shoulder.

Adrien laughs and picks a book from his night table, “Which chapter were we in?”

“Sixteen,” She answers and gets comfortable to hear him read. 

As Adrien reads a tale of a fantasy world the minutes pass quickly and yet they are expectant to the door. 

Just like clockwork, at eight-thirty the bedroom door opens.

“Good morning, mommy!” The little girl says as she runs to the bed, when she is close she stops and her eyes go wide open, “ _ Daddy! _ You aw back!”

Adrien leaves the book aside and opens his arm wide to welcome his daughter. 

Marinette smiles at their side. 

“Oh, look at you! How did you manage to grow in only three weeks?” Adrien hugs Emma and balances her from side to side as she laughs. 

Emma starts rambling and telling Adrien everything she did in the three weeks he was gone. 

Marinette helps her keep her story straight and explains Adrien a few things he doesn’t understand quite well. 

“Am best at dancing!” She jumps, holding herself in Adrien’s shoulder, “Wriiiiiight, mommy?”  

“The teacher says she has the potential to be an incredible ballerina if she keeps going to every class,” Marinette looks at Adrien with an amused smile, “But she has to keep going.”   
“I’ll keep goin!”

“Even when we decide to go to the park?” Adrien asks, teasing her.

Emma’s eyes shine and her mouth hangs open, “Uh…

“We’ll discuss that later,” Marinette pinches her nose, making the little girl laugh. 

“Yes, now we have other things to do,” Adrien says with a baby voice, “Like going to the bakery and--

Emma shrieks and bounces in circles.

“I think she is excited,” Marinette laughs, leaning closer to Adrien.

“Does it seem like that to you?” He laughs with her and kisses her quickly before going to Emma and picking her up before her jumps make her fall. 

Emma laughs as Adrien has her on his arms, and does her best to shift her position and put her head down and her feet up.

“Emma,” Adrien says, trying to scold her but laughing in the process.

Marinette rolls her eyes, “She is just like you. No one could ever doubt she is your daughter.”   
Emma is pretty much the baby female version of Adrien, except for the shape of her eyes, which are more like Marinette’s, and she is just as goofy and impressionable as Adrien is. But, that last part might be more of a kid thing that Adrien has and not and Adrien thing that Emma has. 

“Well she got your cleverness and kindness, I had to compensate somehow,” Adrien shrugs and puts Emma over her shoulder, spinning on his place. 

The room fills with laughter after that and Marinette hugs herself, feeling all fuzzy inside. 

Everything is perfect and it is perfect because it is all she ever wanted. 

When she first found out about the curse she didn’t take the real weight with her but the more she fell in love with him, the more she realized how terrible it was going to be to lose him. And so she lived her life keeping her feelings hidden, keeping him at an arm’s length whenever his own feelings seemed to rise. 

For years she believed she would never get her happy ending, but now, it is right in front of her. 

Yes, they still have to deal with the voices and the visions, but they have it under control, they know when things are getting worse and now how to stop it. 

Their doctors and therapist are aware of their strange situation and do everything to help and search for new solutions if needed. 

And yes, they need to spend time apart and people don’t understand. They think they’re crazy, or having problems, they judge their relationship and try to give them advice to fix something they don’t understand. 

Their family and friends also doubt what they have at times, but no one else has to know what they really feel and what they’re really going through but then. 

They love each other and they found a solution to be together and that is all that matters because they are happy. 

One thing keeping them awake at night is how to explain it to Emma once she grows and starts to see this weird pattern, but they’ve faced more complex problems before so she knows they’ll figure out, and once they know how to tell Emma, it will be a breeze to tell the other kids they plan to have. 

Whatever life threw at them, they would be able to confront now that there aren’t secrets between them, now that they don’t have to hide their love. There are a thousand possibilities of what could happen, but it didn’t matter anymore. 

Their love is stronger than the curse, and they will battle and fight it with claws and teeth, and they will do it as everything they did. 

_ Together.  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it's short but this story was always meant to be short (it was meant to be 7 chapters at the beginning lol)  
> as you can tell, it's not a 10/10 perfect happy ending, but it is a happy ending :)   
> the curse couldn't just disappear like that, bc they're still figuring out, but their love is stronger so they made it through   
> wow what a journey! hope you enjoyed it as much as i did!!!  
> see you next time with a new crazy idea or in any of my other fics  
> thank you for all the love!!!

**Author's Note:**

> find me on:
> 
>  
> 
> [buginettez](https://buginettez.tumblr.com/)


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